Milan and Mantua | Page 6

in the ditch, up to the chin in stinking mud, and, in spite of
my inward rage, obliged, according to the general understanding, to
join in the merry laughter of all my companions. But the merriment did
not last long, for the joke was too bad, and everyone declared it to be so.
Some peasants were called to the rescue, and with much difficulty they
dragged me out in the most awful state. An entirely new dress,
embroidered with spangles, my silk stockings, my lace, everything, was
of course spoiled, but not minding it, I laughed more heartily that

anybody else, although I had already made an inward vow to have the
most cruel revenge. In order to know the author of that bitter joke I had
only to appear calm and indifferent about it. It was evident that the
plank had been purposely sawn. I was taken back to the house, a shirt, a
coat, a complete costume, were lent me, for I had come that time only
for twenty-four hours, and had not brought anything with me. I went to
the city the next morning, and towards the evening I returned to the gay
company. Fabris, who had been as angry as myself, observed to me that
the perpetrator of the joke evidently felt his guilt, because he took good
care not to discover himself. But I unveiled the mystery by promising
one sequin to a peasant woman if she could find out who had sawn the
plank. She contrived to discover the young man who had done the work.
I called on him, and the offer of a sequin, together with my threats,
compelled him to confess that he had been paid for his work by Signor
Demetrio, a Greek, dealer in spices, a good and amiable man of
between forty-five and fifty years, on whom I never played any trick,
except in the case of a pretty, young servant girl whom he was courting,
and whom I had juggled from him.
Satisfied with my discovery, I was racking my brain to invent a good
practical joke, but to obtain complete revenge it was necessary that my
trick should prove worse than the one he had played upon me.
Unfortunately my imagination was at bay. I could not find anything. A
funeral put an end to my difficulties.
Armed with my hunting-knife, I went alone to the cemetery a little after
midnight, and opening the grave of the dead man who had been buried
that very day, I cut off one of the arms near the shoulder, not without
some trouble, and after I had re-buried the corpse, I returned to my
room with the arm of the defunct. The next day, when supper was over,
I left the table and retired to my chamber as if I intended to go to bed,
but taking the arm with me I hid myself under Demetrio's bed. A short
time after, the Greek comes in, undresses himself, put his light out, and
lies down. I give him time to fall nearly asleep; then, placing myself at
the foot of the bed, I pull away the clothes little by little until he is half
naked. He laughs and calls out,

"Whoever you may be, go away and let me sleep quietly, for I do not
believe in ghosts;" he covers himself again and composes himself to
sleep.
I wait five or six minutes, and pull again at the bedclothes; but when he
tries to draw up the sheet, saying that he does not care for ghosts, I
oppose some resistance. He sits up so as to catch the hand which is
pulling at the clothes, and I take care that he should get hold of the dead
hand. Confident that he has caught the man or the woman who was
playing the trick, he pulls it towards him, laughing all the time; I keep
tight hold of the arm for a few instants, and then let it go suddenly; the
Greek falls back on his pillow without uttering a single word.
The trick was played, I leave the room without any noise, and, reaching
my chamber, go to bed.
I was fast asleep, when towards morning I was awoke by persons going
about, and not understanding why they should be up so early, I got up.
The first person I met--the mistress of the house--told me that I had
played an abominable joke.
"I? What have I done?"
"M. Demetrio is dying."
"Have I killed him?"
She went away without answering me. I dressed myself, rather
frightened, I confess, but determined upon pleading complete ignorance
of everything, and I proceeded to Demetrio's room; and I was
confronted with horror-stricken countenances and bitter reproaches. I
found all the guests around him. I protested