Men, Women, and God | Page 6

have learnt the facts bit by bit as they were ready for them.
In that case they are accepted easily and naturally. But with the others it may well be that
just because they have clean and delicate minds, they may at first experience some real
distaste when they come to understand the creative processes through which they were
born. But to any such I would say that against that possibility they may be forearmed, if
they will but believe that when love takes two people into its charge the physical
consequences all come to seem natural and right and sacred. You need never know
anything of these matters at first hand except when real love for some man or woman has
mastered you, and then the experiences to which that love will lead you will be found to
be pure, and simple, and happy. If you approach this part of life with reluctance or in fear,
or with some mistaken sense of shame, you may spoil it, and spoil somebody else's life in
addition. But if you will believe this plain witness, which thousands would unite in
offering you, you may be greatly helped. Ultimately your way to success in this part of
life lies in accepting your nature with its sexual elements-- not in trying to be a sexless
person. That is not the way of purity. It is the way of folly. Therefore again I say--Do not
be afraid of the facts. Those who have traveled that country report to you "There is
nothing here to be afraid of--at least there used to be nothing."
And now in case these pages are read by some young married persons who still have
before them the chance to serve their own children in this matter, may I insist that a
solemn obligation rests on them to see that their children learn the truth in a simple and
natural way from the lips of their fathers and mothers? The ideal way in this connection is
that children should learn about their own bodies from the same people who first tell
them about God and goodness. When that happens there is no danger that they will slip
into an unclean attitude towards sex, for children nearly always accept the things their
parents tell them as natural and right things.
Perhaps the first step in the way is to decide never to tell children anything that is not
strictly true. When your little girls or boys ask how babies come, tell them that they could
not understand, but that you will tell them as soon as they are old enough. And then very
early tell them at least that babies come from the bodies of their mothers. The first wrong
turn that the thoughts of many of us took in connection with sex was when some older
person was made embarrassed or angry by our natural questions. We made a note then
and there that there must be something queer and wrong about the way babies come, and
the impression sank down into the unconscious part of us to bring forth mischief for years
to come. But if a parent's own attitude to sex is clean and true he or she will find it quite
possible to tell the plain truth to innocent little minds. The first bit of knowledge imparted,
namely that babies come from the bodies of their mothers, will often beget a new attitude
of regard and chivalry in children towards their own mothers. I can say with certainty that
it is very good for a boy to know that for his sake his own mother once went through both

pain and risk.
And then let the rest all come naturally. It is better to tell your children in almost any way
than not to tell them at all, but the best way is not to make a solemn occasion of the
telling, but to let the knowledge pass from you to them as incidents and occasions suggest.
If you have contact with nature in common with your children the occasions will be many
for telling them about flower and animal life. And this will naturally lead on to
instruction about human beings. Even if such contact with nature should be impossible,
life in any place and in any guise will assuredly present you with opportunities for your
teaching. And in any case try to get in first. Before the slime of schoolboy talk or the
follies of schoolgirl talk have defiled the subject tell your children about it, as about
something sacred and beautiful--much too sacred and beautiful for the chatter of idle
hours in playgrounds, etc. You will be surprised, if you have forgotten your own
childhood, how early it is necessary to do all this if you