Men, Women, and God | Page 4

the real world. And on the other hand, bodily activities divorced from the
control of the spirit tend to become mere animal things and so to produce disgust and
degeneration.
But indeed the body cannot without disaster be simply ignored. The attempt merely to
repress its manifold urgencies leads to a state in which these forces seek out for
themselves abnormal channels of activity, so destroying the harmony and balance of life.
The essential glory of human beings lies in the fact that in them body and spirit may be so
wedded that their activities are woven into one harmonious whole. It was in a moment of
real insight that Robert Browning cried--
"Let us not always say, 'Spite of this flesh to-day, I strove, made head, gained ground
upon the whole.' As the bird wings and sings, Let us cry, 'All good things Are ours, nor
soul helps flesh more now, than flesh helps soul.'"
Now all this is supremely true of the sexual part of life. If mere lust is the vilest thing on
earth, pure love is the most beautiful. And when pure love dominates a life all the sexual
activities of the body may be transmuted and redeemed until a complete life is attained in
which all the primal forces of our beings find a happy exercise under the control of a
passion that is at once physical, mental, and spiritual. But the body is not in this process
denied. It is accepted, understood, and made to play its true part. If passion be truly
handled it provides the driving force for a life that is effective, courageous, and joyous.
He is most truly living a spiritual life who has learnt to use all the powers of his incarnate

nature in a life of strenuous activity and loyal love.
I do not mean of course that there is no place in the highest type of life for renunciation.
Nor do I mean for a moment that only in marriage can greatness and fullness of life be
attained. It is hard to use words correctly at a time when special meanings have come to
be attached to such words as repression and suppression. What the psychologists have
discovered is that unconscious, or incomplete, or unaccepted repression of bodily
instincts leads to a dangerous condition. He who has not really surrendered desire, but
simply tried to drive it underground, may indeed reap troubles enough and to spare.
But it needs no psychological training to know that deliberate, sincere, and courageous
renunciation of this or that bodily desire for the sake of some compelling ideal may lead
to the very finest kind of life. Only in this process the body is not ignored. It is taken into
account. Nor are its forces neglected. Through the process technically described as
sublimation, a way is to be found whereby life force restrained in one direction finds
other and most valuable ways of expression.
* * * * *
I write this book as one who has learnt to thank God for all the elements in our normal
humanity, and I send it out with the prayer in my heart that through it some may be
helped to a truer understanding of themselves which will ease their way to success and
joy and to that fullness of human life which is the divine intention for us.
CHAPTER I
KNOWING THE FACTS
The first essential equipment for a right journey through the country of sexual experience
is that we should know the truth about our bodies --those temples of the Holy Ghost--and
should understand the meaning of the emotions and desires which connect themselves
with our physical constitution.
Further, because the problem of sex can only be solved by the cooperation of the sexes
working together in mutual understanding it is right that men should know a good deal
about women's bodies and vice versa. Such knowledge almost always begets sympathy
and a certain intelligent tenderness. The lack of it has often led to unconscious cruelties,
to misunderstandings, and even to serious mistakes. To mention one instance only, how
can men be expected to treat the other sex with true consideration if they do not know
that once a month for a period women ought to be saved from fatigue and strain? And yet
there are many adult men in that position of ignorance.
But though the detailed facts are all clean, and really easy to be understood, the manner in
which they are conveyed into our minds is of vital importance. I do not think they can be
fully conveyed through any printed page. They are too delicate for such handling. They
are not truly conveyed unless behind the mere words which express them there is a
reverent soul that can impart the