Mary Marie | Page 9

to keep as still as a
mouse the minute Father comes into the house; and I know that I never
could imagine the kind of a mother that Nurse tells about, if it wasn't
that sometimes when Father has gone off on a trip, Mother and I have
romped all over the house, and had the most beautiful time. I know that
Father says that Mother is always trying to make me a "Marie," and
nothing else; and that Mother says she knows Father'll never be happy
until he's made me into a stupid little "Mary," with never an atom of
life of my own. And, do you know? it does seem sometimes, as if Mary
and Marie were fighting inside of me, and I wonder which is going to
beat. Funny, isn't it?
Father is president of the college now, and I don't know how many stars
and comets and things he's discovered since the night the star and I
were born together. But I know he's very famous, and that he's written
up in the papers and magazines, and is in the big fat red "Who's Who"
in the library, and has lots of noted men come to see him.
Nurse says that Grandma Anderson died very soon after I was born, but
that it didn't make any particular difference in the housekeeping; for
things went right on just as they had done, with her giving the orders as
before; that she'd given them all alone anyway, mostly, the last year
Grandma Anderson lived, and she knew just how Father liked things.
She said Mother tried once or twice to take the reins herself, and once
Nurse let her, just to see what would happen. But things got in an awful
muddle right away, so that even Father noticed it and said things. After
that Mother never tried again, I guess. Anyhow, she's never tried it
since I can remember. She's always stayed most of the time up in her
rooms in the east wing, except during meals, or when she went out with
me, or went to the things she and Father had to go to together. For they
did go to lots of things, Nurse says.
It seems that for a long time they didn't want folks to know there was
going to be a divorce. So before folks they tried to be just as usual. But
Nurse Sarah said she knew there was going to be one long ago. The

first I ever heard of it was Nurse telling Nora, the girl we had in the
kitchen then; and the minute I got a chance I asked Nurse what it
was--a divorce.
My, I can remember now how scared she looked, and how she clapped
her hand over my mouth. She wouldn't tell me--not a word. And that's
the first time I ever saw her give that quick little look over each
shoulder. She's done it lots of times since.
As I said, she wouldn't tell me, so I had to ask some one else. I wasn't
going to let it go by and not find out--not when Nurse Sarah looked so
scared, and when it was something my father and mother were going to
have some day.
I didn't like to ask Mother. Some way, I had a feeling, from the way
Nurse Sarah looked, that it was something Mother wasn't going to like.
And I thought if maybe she didn't know yet she was going to have it,
that certainly I didn't want to be the one to tell her. So I didn't ask
Mother what a divorce was.
I didn't even think of asking Father, of course. I never ask Father
questions. Nurse says I did ask him once why he didn't love me like
other papas loved their little girls. But I was very little then, and I don't
remember it at all. But Nurse said Father didn't like it very well, and
maybe I did remember that part, without really knowing it. Anyhow, I
never think of asking Father questions.
I asked the doctor first. I thought maybe 't was some kind of a disease,
and if he knew it was coming, he could give them some sort of a
medicine to keep it away--like being vaccinated so's not to have
smallpox, you know. And I told him so.
He gave a funny little laugh, that somehow didn't sound like a laugh at
all. Then he grew very, very sober, and said:
"I'm sorry, little girl, but I'm afraid I haven't got any medicine that will
prevent--a divorce. If I did have, there'd be no eating or drinking or
sleeping for me, I'm thinking--I'd be so busy answering my calls."

"Then it is a disease!" I cried. And I can remember just