Martin Rattler | Page 8

the town, of which Arthur
Jollyboy, Esquire, of the Old Hulk (as he styled his cottage), was not a
member, director, secretary, and treasurer, all in one, and all at once! If
it had been possible for man to be ubiquitous, Mr. Jollyboy would have
been so naturally; or, if not naturally, he would have made himself so
by force of will. Yet he made no talk about it. His step was quiet,
though quick; and his voice was gentle, though rapid; and he was
chiefly famous for talking little and doing much.
Some time after the opening of our tale, Mr. Jollyboy had received
information of Mrs. Grumbit's stocking movement. That same
afternoon he put on his broad-brimmed white hat, and, walking out to
the village in which she lived, called upon the vicar, who was a
particular and intimate friend of his. Having ascertained from the vicar
that Mrs. Grumbit would not accept of charity, he said abruptly,--
"And why not,--is she too proud?"
"By no means," replied the vicar. "She says that she would think shame
to take money from friends as long as she can work, because every
penny that she would thus get would be so much less to go to the
helpless poor; of whom, she says, with much truth, there are enough
and to spare. And I quite agree with her as regards her principle; but it
does not apply fully to her, for she cannot work so as to procure a
sufficient livelihood without injury to her health."
"Is she clever?" inquired Mr. Jollyboy.

"Why, no, not particularly. In fact, she does not often exert her
reasoning faculties, except in the common-place matters of ordinary
and every-day routine."
"Then she's cleverer than most people," said Mr. Jollyboy, shortly. "Is
she obstinate?"
"No, not in the least," returned the vicar with a puzzled smile.
"Ah, well, good-bye, good-bye; that's all I want to know."
Mr. Jollyboy rose, and hurrying through the village, tapped at the
cottage door, and was soon closeted with Mrs. Dorothy Grumbit. In the
course of half an hour, Mr. Jollyboy drew from Mrs. Grumbit as much
about her private affairs as he could, without appearing rude. But he
found the old lady very close and sensitive on that point. Not so,
however, when he got her upon the subject of her nephew. She had
enough, and more than enough, to say about him. It is true she began
by remarking, sadly, that he was a very bad boy; but, as she continued
to talk about him, she somehow or other gave her visitor the impression
that he was a very good boy! They had a wonderfully long and
confidential talk about Martin, during which Mr. Jollyboy struck Mrs.
Grumbit nearly dumb with horror by stating positively what he would
do for the boy,--he would send him to sea! Then, seeing that he had hit
the wrongest possible nail on the head, he said that he would make the
lad a clerk in his office, where he would be sure to rise to a place of
trust; whereat Mrs. Grumbit danced, if we may so speak, into herself
for joy.
"And now, ma'am, about these stockings. I want two thousand pairs as
soon as I can get them!"
"Sir?" said Mrs. Grumbit.
"Of course, not for my own use, ma'am; nor for the use of my family,
for I have no family; and if I had, that would be an unnecessarily large
supply. The fact is, Mrs. Grumbit, I am a merchant, and I send very
large supplies of home-made articles to foreign lands, and two

thousand pairs of socks are a mere driblet. Of course I do not expect
you to make them all for me, but I wish you to make as many pairs as
you can."
"I shall be very happy--" began Mrs. Grumbit.
"But, Mrs. Grumbit, there is a peculiar formation which I require in my
socks that will give you extra trouble, I fear; but I must have it,
whatever the additional expense may be. What is your charge for the
pair you are now making?"
"Three shillings," said Mrs. Grumbit.
"Ah! very good. Now, take up the wires if you please, ma'am, and do
what I tell you. Now, drop that stitch,--good; and take up this
one,--capital; and pull this one across that way,--so; and that one across
this way,--exactly. Now, what is the result?"
The result was a complicated knot; and Mrs. Grumbit, after staring a
few seconds at the old gentleman in surprise, said so, and begged to
know what use it was of.
"Oh, never mind, never mind. We merchants have strange fancies, and
foreigners have curious tastes now and then. Please to make all my
socks with a hitch like that in