Malignant Self Love | Page 2

Victims
FAQ # 66: Narcissism by Proxy
FAQ # 67: Narcissists in Positions of Authority
FAQ # 68: For the Love of God
FAQ # 69: The Narcissist and Social Institutions
FAQ # 70: Collective Narcissism (Narcissism, Culture and Society)
FAQ # 71: The Narcissist in Court
FAQ # 72: The Narcissist in a Workplace
FAQ # 73: Responsibility and Other Matters
FAQ # 74: The Accountable Narcissist
FAQ # 75: Crime and Punishment: The Never Repenting Narcissist
FAQ # 76: Narcissists, Group Behaviour and Terrorism
FAQ # 77: Is the Narcissist Ever Sorry?
FAQ # 78: A Letter about Trust
FAQ # 79: The Guilt of Others
FAQ # 80: Narcissistic Confinement
FAQ # 81: Narcissistic Allocation
FAQ # 82: Narcissistic Immunity
FAQ # 83: Narcissists, Love and Healing
FAQ # 84: Vindictive Narcissists
FAQ # 85: Narcissists as Mass and Serial Killers
FAQ # 86: Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply and Sources of Supply
Narcissists and Family
FAQ # 87: How to Cope with a Narcissist?
FAQ # 88: Narcissists and Women
FAQ # 89: The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist
FAQ # 90: Investing in a Narcissist
FAQ # 91: The Double Reflection
(Narcissistic Couples and Narcissistic Types)
FAQ # 92: Narcissistic Parents
FAQ # 93: Narcissists and Children
FAQ # 94: The Narcissist and His Family
FAQ # 95: Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity
FAQ # 96: The Extra-Marital Narcissist
FAQ # 97: Mourning the Narcissist
FAQ # 98: Surviving the Narcissist
FAQ # 99: The Dead Parents
The Author
Online index
Go here: http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
F O R E W O R D
Hello. Recognise me? No? Well, you see me all the time. You read my books, watch me on the big screen, feast on my art, cheer at my games, use my inventions, vote me into office, follow me into battle, take notes at my lectures, laugh at my jokes, marvel at my successes, admire my appearance, listen to my stories, discuss my politics, enjoy my music, excuse my faults, envy me my blessings. No? Still doesn't ring a bell? Well, you have seen me. Of that I am positive. In fact, if there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it is that. You have seen me.
Perhaps our paths crossed more privately. Perhaps I am the one who came along and built you up when you were down, employed you when you were out of a job, showed the way when you were lost, offered confidence when you were doubting, made you laugh when you were blue, sparked your interest when you were bored, listened to you and understood, saw you for what you really are, felt your pain and found the answers, made you want to be alive. Of course you recognise me. I am your inspiration, your role model, your saviour, your leader, your best friend, the one you aspire to emulate, the one whose favour makes you glow.
But I can also be your worst nightmare. First I build you up because that's what you need. Your skies are blue. Then, out of the blue, I start tearing you down. You let me do it because that's what you are used to and you are dumfounded. I was wrong to take pity on you. You really are incompetent, disrespectful, untrustworthy, immoral, ignorant, inept, egotistical, constrained, disgusting. You are a social embarrassment, an unappreciative partner, an inadequate parent, a disappointment, a sexual flop, a financial liability. I tell you this to your face. I must. It is my right, because it is. I behave, at home and away, any way I want to, with total disregard for conventions, mores, or the feelings of others. It is my right, because it is.
I lie to your face, without a twitch or a twitter, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. In fact, my lies are not lies at all. They are the truth, my truth. And you believe them, because you do, because they do not sound or feel like lies, because to do otherwise would make you question your own sanity, which you have a tendency to do anyway, because from the very beginning of our relationship you placed your trust and hopes in me, derived your energy from me, gave me power over you.
Run to our friends. Go. See what that will get you. Ridicule. I am to them what I originally was to you. They believe what they see and that's what they see, and they also see the very mixed up person that you obviously have become. The more you plead for understanding, the more convinced they will be that you are crazy, the more isolated you will feel, and the harder you will try to make things right again, by accepting my criticisms and by striving to improve yourself. Could it be that you were wrong about me in the beginning? So wrong as that? Not an easy pill to swallow, is it? How do you think our friends will react if you try to cram it down their throats?