Major Barbara | Page 7

your capacity. Andrew did it on principle, just as he
did every perverse and wicked thing on principle. When my father
remonstrated, Andrew actually told him to his face that history tells us
of only two successful institutions: one the Undershaft firm, and the
other the Roman Empire under the Antonines. That was because the
Antonine emperors all adopted their successors. Such rubbish! The
Stevenages are as good as the Antonines, I hope; and you are a
Stevenage. But that was Andrew all over. There you have the man!
Always clever and unanswerable when he was defending nonsense and
wickedness: always awkward and sullen when he had to behave
sensibly and decently!
STEPHEN. Then it was on my account that your home life was broken
up, mother. I am sorry.
LADY BRITOMART. Well, dear, there were other differences. I really
cannot bear an immoral man. I am not a Pharisee, I hope; and I should
not have minded his merely doing wrong things: we are none of us
perfect. But your father didn't exactly do wrong things: he said them
and thought them: that was what was so dreadful. He really had a sort
of religion of wrongness just as one doesn't mind men practising
immorality so long as they own that they are in the wrong by preaching
morality; so I couldn't forgive Andrew for preaching immorality while
he practised morality. You would all have grown up without principles,
without any knowledge of right and wrong, if he had been in the house.
You know, my dear, your father was a very attractive man in some

ways. Children did not dislike him; and he took advantage of it to put
the wickedest ideas into their heads, and make them quite
unmanageable. I did not dislike him myself: very far from it; but
nothing can bridge over moral disagreement.
STEPHEN. All this simply bewilders me, mother. People may differ
about matters of opinion, or even about religion; but how can they
differ about right and wrong? Right is right; and wrong is wrong; and if
a man cannot distinguish them properly, he is either a fool or a rascal:
that's all.
LADY BRITOMART [touched] That's my own boy [she pats his
cheek]! Your father never could answer that: he used to laugh and get
out of it under cover of some affectionate nonsense. And now that you
understand the situation, what do you advise me to do?
STEPHEN. Well, what can you do?
LADY BRITOMART. I must get the money somehow.
STEPHEN. We cannot take money from him. I had rather go and live
in some cheap place like Bedford Square or even Hampstead than take
a farthing of his money.
LADY BRITOMART. But after all, Stephen, our present income
comes from Andrew.
STEPHEN [shocked] I never knew that.
LADY BRITOMART. Well, you surely didn't suppose your
grandfather had anything to give me. The Stevenages could not do
everything for you. We gave you social position. Andrew had to
contribute something. He had a very good bargain, I think.
STEPHEN [bitterly] We are utterly dependent on him and his cannons,
then!
LADY BRITOMART. Certainly not: the money is settled. But he
provided it. So you see it is not a question of taking money from him or
not: it is simply a question of how much. I don't want any more for
myself.
STEPHEN. Nor do I.
LADY BRITOMART. But Sarah does; and Barbara does. That is,
Charles Lomax and Adolphus Cusins will cost them more. So I must
put my pride in my pocket and ask for it, I suppose. That is your advice,
Stephen, is it not?
STEPHEN. No.

LADY BRITOMART [sharply] Stephen!
STEPHEN. Of course if you are determined--
LADY BRITOMART. I am not determined: I ask your advice; and I
am waiting for it. I will not have all the responsibility thrown on my
shoulders.
STEPHEN [obstinately] I would die sooner than ask him for another
penny.
LADY BRITOMART [resignedly] You mean that I must ask him.
Very well, Stephen: It shall be as you wish. You will be glad to know
that your grandfather concurs. But he thinks I ought to ask Andrew to
come here and see the girls. After all, he must have some natural
affection for them.
STEPHEN. Ask him here!!!
LADY BRITOMART. Do not repeat my words, Stephen. Where else
can I ask him?
STEPHEN. I never expected you to ask him at all.
LADY BRITOMART. Now don't tease, Stephen. Come! you see that it
is necessary that he should pay us a visit, don't you?
STEPHEN [reluctantly] I suppose so, if the girls cannot do without his
money.
LADY BRITOMART. Thank you, Stephen: I knew you would give me
the right advice when it was properly explained to you. I have asked