Magic | Page 9

cloak with the hood
up?
CONJURER. [Smiling.] I think it escaped your notice that it was
raining.
PATRICIA. [Smiling faintly.] And what did this friend of yours do?
CONJURER. You have already told me what he did. He destroyed a
fairy tale, for he created a fairy tale that he was bound to destroy.
[Swinging round suddenly on the table.] But do you blame a man very
much, Miss Carleon, if he enjoyed the only fairy tale he had had in his
life? Suppose he said the silly circles he was drawing for practice were
really magic circles? Suppose he said the bosh he was talking was the
language of the elves? Remember, he has read fairy tales as much as
you have. Fairy tales are the only democratic institutions. All the
classes have heard all the fairy tales. Do you blame him very much if
he, too, tried to have a holiday in fairyland?

PATRICIA. [Simply.] I blame him less than I did. But I still say there
can be nothing worse than false magic. And, after all, it was he who
brought the false magic.
CONJURER. [Rising from his seat.] Yes. It was she who brought the
real magic.
[Enter MORRIS, in evening-dress. He walks straight up to the
conjuring-table; and picks up one article after another, putting each
down with a comment.
MORRIS. I know that one. I know that. I know that. Let's see, that's the
false bottom, I think. That works with a wire. I know that; it goes up
the sleeve. That's the false bottom again. That's the substituted pack of
cards--that....
PATRICIA. Really, Morris, you mustn't talk as if you knew everything.
CONJURER. Oh, I don't mind anyone knowing everything, Miss
Carleon. There is something that is much more important than knowing
how a thing is done.
MORRIS. And what's that?
CONJURER. Knowing how to do it.
MORRIS. [Becoming nasal again in anger.] That's so, eh? Being the
high-toned conjurer because you can't any longer take all the sidewalk
as a fairy.
PATRICIA. [Crossing the room and speaking seriously to her brother.]
Really, Morris, you are very rude. And it's quite ridiculous to be rude.
This gentleman was only practising some tricks by himself in the
garden. [With a certain dignity.] If there was any mistake, it was mine.
Come, shake hands, or whatever men do when they apologize. Don't be
silly. He won't turn you into a bowl of goldfish.
MORRIS. [Reluctantly.] Well, I guess that's so. [Offering his hand.]

Shake. [They shake hands.] And you won't turn me into a bowl of
goldfish anyhow, Professor. I understand that when you do produce a
bowl of goldfish, they are generally slips of carrot. That is so,
Professor?
CONJURER. [Sharply.] Yes. [Produces a bowl of goldfish from his tail
pockets and holds it under the other's nose.] Judge for yourself.
MORRIS. [In monstrous excitement.] Very good! Very good! But I
know how that's done--I know how that's done. You have an
india-rubber cap, you know, or cover....
CONJURER. Yes.
[Goes back gloomily to his table and sits on it, picking up a pack of
cards and balancing it in his hand.
MORRIS. Ah, most mysteries are tolerably plain if you know the
apparatus. [Enter DOCTOR and SMITH, talking with grave faces, but
growing silent as they reach the group.] I guess I wish we had all the
old apparatus of all the old Priests and Prophets since the beginning of
the world. I guess most of the old miracles and that were a matter of
just panel and wires.
CONJURER. I don't quite understand you. What old apparatus do you
want so much?
MORRIS. [Breaking out with all the frenzy of the young free-thinker.]
Well, sir, I just want that old apparatus that turned rods into snakes. I
want those smart appliances, sir, that brought water out of a rock when
old man Moses chose to hit it. I guess it's a pity we've lost the
machinery. I would like to have those old conjurers here that called
themselves Patriarchs and Prophets in your precious Bible....
PATRICIA. Morris, you mustn't talk like that.
MORRIS. Well, I don't believe in religion....

DOCTOR. [Aside.] Hush, hush. Nobody but women believe in religion.
PATRICIA. [Humorously.] I think this is a fitting opportunity to show
you another ancient conjuring trick.
DOCTOR. Which one is that?
PATRICIA. The Vanishing Lady!
[Exit PATRICIA.
SMITH. There is one part of their old apparatus I regret especially
being lost.
MORRIS. [Still excited.] Yes!
SMITH. The apparatus for writing the Book of Job.
MORRIS. Well, well, they didn't know everything in those old times.
SMITH. No, and in those old times they knew they didn't. [Dreamily.]
Where shall wisdom be found, and what is the place of understanding?
CONJURER. Somewhere in America, I believe.
SMITH.