Madame Firmiani | Page 2

a sayer
of pretty nothings with more acquired cleverness than native wit,
stoops to your ear and adds, with a shrewd glance: "I have never seen
Monsieur Firmiani. His social position is that of looking after property
in Italy. Madame Firmiani is a Frenchwoman, and spends her money
like a Parisian. She has excellent tea. It is one of the few houses where
you can amuse yourself; the refreshments are exquisite. It is very
difficult to get admitted; therefore, of course, one meets only the best
society in her salons." Here the Lounger takes a pinch of snuff; he
inhales it slowly and seems to say: "I go there, but don't expect me to
present you."
Evidently the Lounger considers that Madame Firmiani keeps a sort of
inn, without a sign.
"Why do you want to know Madame Firmiani? Her parties are as dull

as the Court itself. What is the good of possessing a mind unless to
avoid such salons, where stupid talk and foolish little ballads are the
order of the day." You have questioned a being classed Egotist, a
species who would like to keep the universe under lock and key, and let
nothing be done without their permission. They are unhappy if others
are happy; they forgive nothing but vices, downfalls, frailties, and like
none but proteges. Aristocrats by inclination, they make themselves
democrats out of spite, preferring to consort with inferiors as equals.
"Oh, Madame Firmiani, my dear fellow! she is one of those adorable
women who serve as Nature's excuse for all the ugly ones she creates.
Madame Firmiani is enchanting, and so kind! I wish I were in power
and possessed millions that I might--" (here a whisper). "Shall I present
you?" The speaker is a youth of the Student species, known for his
boldness among men and his timidity in a boudoir.
"Madame Firmiani?" cries another, twirling his cane. "I'll tell you what
I think of her; she is a woman between thirty and thirty-five; faded
complexion, handsome eyes, flat figure, contralto voice worn out,
much dressed, rather rouged, charming manners; in short, my dear
fellow, the remains of a pretty woman who is still worth the trouble of
a passion." This remark is from the species Fop, who has just
breakfasted, doesn't weigh his words, and is about to mount his horse.
At that particular moment Fops are pitiless.
"Magnificent collection of pictures in her house; go and see them by all
means," answers another. "Nothing finer." You have questioned one of
the species Connoisseur. He leaves you to go to Perignon's or Tripet's.
To him, Madame Firmiani is a collection of painted canvases.
A Woman: "Madame Firmiani? I don't wish you to visit her." This
remark is rich in meanings. Madame Firmiani! dangerous woman! a
siren! dresses well, has taste; gives other women sleepless nights. Your
informant belongs to the genus Spiteful.
An Attache to an embassy: "Madame Firmiani? Isn't she from Antwerp?
I saw her ten years ago in Rome; she was very handsome then."
Individuals of the species Attache have a mania for talking in the style
of Talleyrand. Their wit is often so refined that the point is
imperceptible; they are like billiard-players who avoid hitting the ball
with consummate dexterity. These individuals are usually taciturn, and
when they talk it is only about Spain, Vienna, Italy, or Petersburg.

Names of countries act like springs in their mind; press them, and the
ringing of their changes begins.
"That Madame Firmiani sees a great deal of the faubourg
Saint-Germain, doesn't she?" This from a person who desires to belong
to the class Distinguished. She gives the "de" to everybody,--to
Monsieur Dupin senior, to Monsieur Lafayette; she flings it right and
left and humiliates many. This woman spends her life in striving to
know and do "the right thing"; but, for her sins, she lives in a the
Marais, and her husband is a lawyer,--a lawyer before the Royal courts,
however.
"Madame Firmiani, monsieur? I do not know her." This man belongs to
the species Duke. He recognizes none but the women who have been
presented at court. Pray excuse him, he was one of Napoleon's
creations.
"Madame Firmiani? surely she used to sing at the Opera-house."
Species Ninny. The individuals of this species have an answer for
everything. They will tell lies sooner than say nothing.
Two old ladies, wives of former magistrates: The First (wears a cap
with bows, her face is wrinkled, her nose sharp, voice hard, carries a
prayer-book in her hand): "What was that Madame Firmiani's maiden
name?"--The Second (small face red as a crab-apple, gentle voice):
"She was a Cadignan, my dear, niece of the old Prince de Cadignan,
consequently cousin to the present Duc de Maufrigneuse."
Madame Firmiani is a Cadignan. She might have