Lysergically Yours | Page 9

Huron. Should I expect you in five or do I have to
make this here waitress drink with me? She's cute, you might like her...
yeah love, you'll like him too. Scrappy little skater kid, little on the
short side maybe but he--"
"Alright Ivan, for fuck's sake," Johnny cut him off, "I'm on my way!"
###
The jukebox was playing some hip-hop song Johnny had never heard
when he arrived. He spotted Ivan right off. At six foot four he was easy
to pick out of the crowd. It also didn't hurt that he had all three on duty
waitresses at his table dancing and singing along to the chorus with him.
Johnny leaned against the pay-phones and smiled as he watched his
friend forge on solo into the second verse. By the time Ivan noticed
Johnny the chorus had come back around again. He smiled widely,
showing his perfect teeth, and waved. Johnny raised his eyebrows at his
friend and started across the pub to his table.
"Johnny," Ivan bellowed enthusiastically, hugging him and slapping
him too hard on the back with his tremendous Russian hands, "I want
you to meet Megan and Wendy and that's Anna scampering back over
behind the bar to get a drink for that customer. Such a responsible and
friendly girl."
Johnny said hello to Megan and Wendy but didn't get a chance to say
any more before Ivan asked them to let him speak privately with
Johnny. Amazingly, he did so in such a way that it came off as though
he were paying them the largest of compliments by asking them to
leave. By the time Johnny pulled out a chair and sat in it Ivan had
already poured him a pint.
"Happy birthday!" he shouted jovially.
"It's not my birthday," Johnny said, "I've never told you my birthday. I
never tell anyone my birthday."
"I've noticed that Johnny. But now I have an arm up on everyone else

who doesn't know your birthday. I know one day that it's not.
Knowledge is power my friend, and power is money, girls, freedom
and beer. And more knowledge, power is also more knowledge. Kinda
like perpetual motion if you think about it."
"It's a leg up Ivan. You have a leg up on them not an arm up."
"That's what I said," Ivan agreed as he raised his glass, "a leg up. A
toast: to tomorrow, your birthday."
Johnny smiled, clinked glasses and drank. After a long draw from the
pint, he set it back down on the table and asked: "so who are you
running from that you ended up here, Ivan?"
Ivan made a grand show of being offended: his eyebrows shot up and
his jaw dropped to fantastic effect as he visibly drew back from the
table.
"Running, Johnny? I never run. If you ever need to run you have waited
far too long to make your exit. I always leave myself ample time to
stroll away casually and even stop for a butt at the corner if I feel so
inclined. Run!?" he said again with a huff, "I can't believe you think so
poorly of me after all this time, Johnny! After all I've done for you!"
It looked like Johnny was going to be looking for a new connection if
he wanted to get back into the acid business. It was a shame. Ivan was a
real card and more than a little random, but he was a paragon of
dependability when considered against his peers in the drug world.
"And what about-- My god what happened to your hand?" Ivan
exclaimed.
Johnny looked down at his hand. Now that he looked at it, it was
actually pretty gruesome. "A girl cut me."
Ivan laughed. "Still the ladies man, eh? So tell me what have you been
doing in this city Johnny-Boy? Give me the real scoop, the dirt."

"I'm a student, Ivan. I'm getting my degree one slow expensive step at a
time."
"Yes yes, of course you are. And then you're getting a wife and a
mortgage and a steady job doing something perfectly legal and boring.
Don't give me that party line kid. What are you doing for MONEY?"
"Well," Johnny said, preparing to talk shop and enjoy it, "I've been
starting to get into gambling a little lately."
"That's my boy!" Ivan exclaimed slapping the table, "Gambling, eh?
That's a tricky one. Hard to keep a clientele at a back alley
establishment when the Man is setting up card houses with the official
pat and nod on every other corner." Johnny made to interrupt but Ivan
waved a hand at him and sat thinking for a moment before his eyes lit
up. "Of course! You live in a residence! It's a captive market, and