Lyra Frivola

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Title: Lyra Frivola
Author: A. D. Godley
Release Date: March 2, 2006 [EBook #17898]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
? START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LYRA FRIVOLA ***
Produced by Al Haines
LYRA FRIVOLA
BY
1. D. GODLEY
AUTHOR OF "VERSES TO ORDER."
METHUEN & CO.
36 ESSEX STREET, W.C.
LONDON
1900
Second Edition
Most of the pieces in this book have appeared in the _St James's Gazette_, the Oxford Magazine_, or the _National Observer. I have to thank the Proprietors of these papers for permission to republish.
1. D. G.
CONTENTS
AFTER HORACE?THE JOURNALIST ABROAD?VERNAL VERSES?PENS��ES DE NOEL?AD LECTIONEM SUAM?RUB��IYY��T OF MODERATIONS?LINES TO AN OLD FRIEND?THE PARADISE OF LECTURERS?A DIALOGUE ON ETHICS?PEDAGOGY?SONG FOR THE NAVY LEAGUE?A DREAM?THE SCHOOL of AGRICULTURE?THE LAST STRAW?THE 1713 AGAINST NEWNHAM?QUADRIVIAD, ll. 1-51?MUSICAL DEGREES?QUIETA MOVERE?GRAECULUS ESURIENS?THE ROAD TO RENOWN?L'AFFAIRE (CHAPTER ONE)?UNSELFISH DEVOTION?THE ARREST?"THE PLAN OF CAMPAIGN"?THE PATRIOT'S "POME"?MR MORLEY'S APOLOGY?HONESTY REWARDED?THE END OF IT?A NEW DEPARTURE?MULLIGAN ON THE AUSTRIAN PARLIAMENT?BROKEN VOWS?THE TRUE REMEDY?UNITED IRELAND?JUSTICE FOR PRIVATE MULVANEY
AFTER HORACE
What asks the Bard? He prays for nought?But what the truly virtuous crave:?That is, the things he plainly ought
To have.
'Tis not for wealth, with all the shocks?That vex distracted millionaires,?Plagued by their fluctuating stocks
And shares:
While plutocrats their millions new?Expend upon each costly whim,?A great deal less than theirs will do
For him;
The simple incomes of the poor?His meek poetic soul content:?Say, L30,000 at four
Per cent.!
His taste in residence is plain:?No palaces his heart rejoice:?A cottage in a lane (Park Lane
For choice)--
Here be his days in quiet spent:?Here let him meditate the Muse:?Baronial Halls were only meant
For Jews,
And lands that stretch with endless span?From east to west, from south to north,?Are often much more trouble than
They're worth!
Let epicures who eat too much?Become uncomfortably stout:?Let gourmets feel th' approaching touch
Of gout,--
The Bard subsists on simpler food:?A dinner, not severely plain,?A pint or so of really good
Champagne--
Grant him but these, no care he'll take?Though Laureates bask in Fortune's smile,?Though Kiplings and Corellis make
Their pile:
Contented with a scantier dole?His humble Muse serenely jogs,?Remote from scenes where authors roll
Their logs:
Far from the madding crowd she lurks,?And really cares no single jot?Whether the public read her works
Or not!
THE JOURNALIST ABROAD
When Parson, Doctor, Don,--?In short, when all the nation?Goes gaily off upon?Its annual vacation,?Their cares professional?No more avail to bind them:?They go at Pleasure's call?And leave their trades behind them.
Like them, departs afar?From England's fogs and vapours?The literary star,?The writer for the papers:?But not, like them, at home?Leaves he his calling's fetters:?Nought can release him from?The tyranny of Letters!
When classic scenes amid?For rest and peace he hankers,?Amari aliquid?His joys aesthetic cankers:?Whate'er he sees, he knows?He has to write upon it?A paragraph of prose?Or possibly a sonnet:
By mountain lakelets blue,?'Mid wild romantic heath, he's?A martyr always to?Scribendi cacoethes:?The Naiad-haunted stream?Or lonely mountain-top he?Considers as a theme?Available for "copy."
If on the sunlit main?With ardour rapt he gazes,?He's torturing his brain?For neat pictorial phrases:?When in a ship or boat?He navigates the briny?(And here 'tis his to quote?Examples set by Heine)
While fellow-passengers?Lie stretched in mere prostration,?He duly registers?Each horrible sensation--?He notes his qualms with care,?And bids the public know 'em?In "Thoughts on Mal de Mer,"?Or "Nausea: a Poem."

Such is his earthly lot:?Nor is it wholly certain?If Death for him or not?Rings down the final curtain,?Or if, when hence he's fled?To worlds or worse or better,?He'll send per Mr St--d?A crisp descriptive letter!
VERNAL VERSES
When early worms began to crawl, and early birds to sing, And frost, and mud, and snow, and rain proclaimed the jocund spring, Its all-pervading influence the Poet's soul obeyed--?He made a song to greet the Spring, and this is what he made:--
They sadly lacked enlightenment, our ancestors of old,?Who used to suffer simply from an ordinary cold:?But we, of Science' mysteries less ignorant by far,?Have nothing less distinguished than a Bronchial Catarrh!
O when your head's a lump of lead and nought can do but sneeze: Whene'er in turn you freeze and burn, and then you burn and freeze:-- It does not mean you're going to die, although you think you are-- These are the primal symptoms of a Bronchial Catarrh.
And when you've taken drugs and pills, and stayed indoors a week, Yet still your chest with pain opprest will hardly let you speak: Amid your darksome miseries be this your guiding star--?'Tis simply the remainder of a Bronchial Catarrh.
In various ways do various men invite misfortune's rods,-- Some row within their College boat,--some Logic read for Mods.: But oh! of all the human ills our happiness that mar?I do not know the equal of a Bronchial Catarrh!
PENS��ES DE NOEL
When the landlord wants the rent?Of your humble