Loves Comedy | Page 6

to do with Strawman, pray? Is he a poem, or a
Christian play?
MISS JAY [with tears of emotion]. No, Falk,--a man, with heart as
large as day. But when a--so to speak--mere lifeless thing Can put such
venom into envy's sting, And stir up evil passions fierce and fell Of
such a depth--
FALK [sympathetically]. And such a length as well--
MISS JAY. Why then, a man of your commanding brain Can't fail to
see--
FALK. Oh, yes, that's very plain. But hitherto I haven't quite made out

The nature, style, and plot of this romance. It's something quite
delightful I've no doubt-- But just a little inkling in advance--
STIVER. I will abstract, in rapid resume, The leading points.
MISS JAY. No, I am more au fait, I know the ins and outs--
MRS. HALM. I know them too!
MISS JAY. Oh Mrs. Halm! now let me tell it, do! Well, Mr. Falk, you
see--he passed at college For quite a miracle of wit and knowledge,
Had admirable taste in books and dress--
MRS. HALM. And acted--privately--with great success.
MISS JAY. Yes, wait a bit--he painted, played and wrote--
MRS. HALM. And don't forget his gift of anecdote.
MISS JAY. Do give me time; I know the whole affair: He made some
verses, set them to an air, Also his own,--and found a publisher. O
heavens! with what romantic melancholy He played and sang his
"Madrigals to Molly"!
MRS. HALM. He was a genius, the simple fact.
GULDSTAD [to himself]. Hm! Some were of opinion he was cracked.
FALK. A gray old stager,(2)whose sagacious head Was never upon
mouldy parchments fed, Says "Love makes Petrarchs, just as many
lambs And little occupation, Abrahams." But who was Molly?
MISS JAY. Molly? His elect, His lady-love, whom shortly we expect.
Of a great firm her father was a member--
GULDSTAD. A timber house.
MISS JAY [curtly]. I'm really not aware.

GULDSTAD. Did a large trade in scantlings, I remember.
MISS JAY. That is the trivial side of the affair.
FALK. A firm?
MISS JAY [continuing]. Of vast resources, I'm informed. You can
imagine how the suitors swarm'd; Gentlemen of the highest
reputation.--
MRS. HALM. Even a baronet made application.
MISS JAY. But Molly was not to be made their catch. She had met
Strawman upon private stages; To see him was to love him--
FALK. And despatch The wooing gentry home without their wages?
MRS. HALM. Was it not just a too romantic match?
MISS JAY. And then there was a terrible old father, Whose sport was
thrusting happy souls apart; She had a guardian also, as I gather, To
add fresh torment to her tortured heart. But each of them was loyal to
his vow; A straw-hatched cottage and a snow-white ewe They dream'd
of, just enough to nourish two--
MRS. HALM. Or at the very uttermost a cow,--
MISS JAY. In short, I've heard it from the lips of both,-- A beck, a byre,
two bosoms, and one troth.
FALK. Ah yes! And then--?
MISS JAY. She broke with kin and class.
FALK. She broke--?
MRS. HALM. Broke with them.
FALK. There's a plucky lass!

MISS JAY. And fled to Strawman's garret--
FALK. How? Without-- Ahem, the priestly consecration?
MISS JAY. Shame!
MRS. HALM. Fy, fy! my late beloved husband's name Was on the list
of sponsors--!
STIVER [to MISS JAY]. The one room Not housing sheep and cattle, I
presume.
MISS JAY [to STIVER]. O, but you must consider this, my friend;
There is no Want where Love's the guiding star; All's right without if
tender Troth's within. [To Falk. He loved her to the notes of the guitar,
And she gave lessons on the violin--
MRS. HALM. Then all, of course, on credit they bespoke--
GULDSTAD. Till, in a year, the timber merchant broke.
MRS. HALM. Then Strawman had a call to north.
MISS JAY. And there Vowed, in a letter that I saw (as few did), He
lived but for his duty, and for her.
FALK [as if completing her statement]. And with those words his Life's
Romance concluded.
MRS. HALM [rising]. How if we should go out upon the lawn, And
see if there's no prospect of them yet?
MISS JAY [drawing on her mantle]. It's cool already.
MRS. HALM. Svanhild, will you get My woollen shawl?--Come ladies,
pray!
LIND [to ANNA, unobserved by the others]. Go on!

[SVANHILD goes into the house; the others, except FALK, go towards
the back and out to the left. LIND, who has followed, stops and returns.
LIND. My friend!
FALK. Ah, ditto.
LIND. Falk, your hand! The tide Of joy's so vehement, it will perforce
Break out--
FALK. Hullo there; you must first be tried; Sentence and hanging
follow in due course. Now, what on earth's the matter? To conceal
From