Love Instigated | Page 4

Month, a Little Month--the Dudish Roderick Dhu
was a cringing devotee at the Vestal Shrine of the Maiden Priestess,
Praying that she should receive all his Suppliant Love, and "right
smart" of his devotion. He would never leave Her Side. He would
Never, never Smile on other Maidens. He would Sacrifice each Trusted
and Trusting Friend and Creditor. She MUST receive his Heart and
Hand, and his Partially-Eclipsed Occular!
Else, where, all the while, was all this Wealth of Passionate Love to go
to--If it was Spurned and Sent Back to its Donor? Who would have it
Second-Handed?
This was, indeed, a Poser.
It was Unanswerable!
She did not Attempt to Answer it. She only Considered the First
Proposition.
And she Thought of the Cruel, Cruel Deed Which she had been Led by
the Vitreous-Eyed Odalisque of Carved-Ivory to Unintentionally,
Unconsciously, and Unresistingly Perpetrate Upon Him; And--to cut a
Short Story shorter--she cast her 'Mind's Eye, Horatio,' upon his Queen
Anne Mansion Front, and Determined to Bestow upon the Injured
Innocent what remained--after Five Seasons--of the Wealth of Her
Young Love.

--Thus Simply is Love Instigated.--
Had the Maiden Princess Refused him her Silver-Tinged Love--Had
she Spurned and Thrown back upon his Hands his Passion torn To
Tatters--he Might Have Perpetuated his Love by Writing "a Book
Without a Woman," or Better still, he Might Have Spent the Force of
his Extravagant Passion by Executing, in Endless number and variety,
Patent Ivory-handled Umbrellas, Quaintly Carved in the Verisimility of
the Oggling Odalisque, which Impelled the Hand that Instigated his
Love by Peeling his Dexter Eye.
But, Alas! The Thoughtless Pair of Innocents did not Consider that
their Love, being Mutual, Must, by the Decree of St. Douglass,
die--Unperpetuated--with Them!
Or, if they Weighed the Dire Decree in the Balances of their Social
Philosophy, I Doubt Not that they Considered that if they Perpetuated
their Love the Length of their Natural Lives they Would have
Accomplished Enough. And, methinks their Heads were Equipoised.
This Work-a-Day World has all the Dudish Booklets and Carved-Ivory
Dagger and Umbrella Handles that it can Easily Carry. Let not Another
Booklet break Old Atlas' Back.
And "Douglass, O Douglass, Tender and True," Carve for us no more
Heathen Gods of Love. E'en now Their Occupation's Gone.
The Star-Eyed Goddess that Shines Forth From the Glittering Surface
of the Almighty Dollar is Goddess Potent enough to Perpetuate the
Love of this Day and Generation, even as by her Influence often is
Love Instigated.

But the Quaintly Carved Vegetable-Ivory Odalisque Handle of the
Tanned-Gingham Umbrella that Rested in the Hand-Painted China
Receptacle that Stood in the Voluptuous Environment of the
Wine-Colored Plush Corner of the Long, Quiet Hall of the House of a
Friend Where I Supped the Night after Christmas--[Was this the House

that Zack Built?]--It still Glared at me with a Sinister Gleam of its
Dexter Eye as it Oggled me from its Place on the Hearth of the
Wine-Scented Cell--Plush-Lined Cell--in the Cloistered Precincts of
Saint Pendennis.

It seemed to Smile a Ready, Garrulous Assent to all that which I have
Said.
These Words it Seemed to Murmur:
Oh! Thou Unmitigated Umbrella-Theif! Return Me to the home of
those whose Love I Instigated, whose Happy Household I am
Responsible for. Wake ye! Sleeping Son of Pendennis, or by the
Goddess Si[l]va, I will Execute Dire Vengeance Upon you!
Even as I once was the Instigator of Love, upon You may be,
Love Instigated!
[Illustration]
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Sherley
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