Love Instigated | Page 4

the First Proposition.
And she Thought of the Cruel, Cruel Deed Which she had been Led by the Vitreous-Eyed Odalisque of Carved-Ivory to Unintentionally, Unconsciously, and Unresistingly Perpetrate Upon Him; And--to cut a Short Story shorter--she cast her 'Mind's Eye, Horatio,' upon his Queen Anne Mansion Front, and Determined to Bestow upon the Injured Innocent what remained--after Five Seasons--of the Wealth of Her Young Love.
--Thus Simply is Love Instigated.--
Had the Maiden Princess Refused him her Silver-Tinged Love--Had she Spurned and Thrown back upon his Hands his Passion torn To Tatters--he Might Have Perpetuated his Love by Writing "a Book Without a Woman," or Better still, he Might Have Spent the Force of his Extravagant Passion by Executing, in Endless number and variety, Patent Ivory-handled Umbrellas, Quaintly Carved in the Verisimility of the Oggling Odalisque, which Impelled the Hand that Instigated his Love by Peeling his Dexter Eye.
But, Alas! The Thoughtless Pair of Innocents did not Consider that their Love, being Mutual, Must, by the Decree of St. Douglass, die--Unperpetuated--with Them!
Or, if they Weighed the Dire Decree in the Balances of their Social Philosophy, I Doubt Not that they Considered that if they Perpetuated their Love the Length of their Natural Lives they Would have Accomplished Enough. And, methinks their Heads were Equipoised. This Work-a-Day World has all the Dudish Booklets and Carved-Ivory Dagger and Umbrella Handles that it can Easily Carry. Let not Another Booklet break Old Atlas' Back.
And "Douglass, O Douglass, Tender and True," Carve for us no more Heathen Gods of Love. E'en now Their Occupation's Gone.
The Star-Eyed Goddess that Shines Forth From the Glittering Surface of the Almighty Dollar is Goddess Potent enough to Perpetuate the Love of this Day and Generation, even as by her Influence often is
Love Instigated.

But the Quaintly Carved Vegetable-Ivory Odalisque Handle of the Tanned-Gingham Umbrella that Rested in the Hand-Painted China Receptacle that Stood in the Voluptuous Environment of the Wine-Colored Plush Corner of the Long, Quiet Hall of the House of a Friend Where I Supped the Night after Christmas--[Was this the House that Zack Built?]--It still Glared at me with a Sinister Gleam of its Dexter Eye as it Oggled me from its Place on the Hearth of the Wine-Scented Cell--Plush-Lined Cell--in the Cloistered Precincts of Saint Pendennis.

It seemed to Smile a Ready, Garrulous Assent to all that which I have Said.
These Words it Seemed to Murmur:
Oh! Thou Unmitigated Umbrella-Theif! Return Me to the home of those whose Love I Instigated, whose Happy Household I am Responsible for. Wake ye! Sleeping Son of Pendennis, or by the Goddess Si[l]va, I will Execute Dire Vengeance Upon you!
Even as I once was the Instigator of Love, upon You may be,
Love Instigated!
[Illustration]
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