Louise de la Valliere | Page 8

not even asleep, it is as much as to say that you
have not even the consolation of being able to sleep; or, better still, it is
precisely the same as telling me that you are getting bored to death."
"Planchet, you know that I am never bored."
"Except to-day, and the day before yesterday."
"Bah!"
"Monsieur d'Artagnan, it is a week since you returned here from
Fontainebleau; in other words, you have no longer your orders to issue,
or your men to review and maneuver. You need the sound of guns,
drums, and all that din and confusion; I, who have myself carried a
musket, can easily believe that."
"Planchet," replied D'Artagnan, "I assure you I am not bored in the
least in the world."
"In that case, what are you doing, lying there, as if you were dead?"
"My dear Planchet, there was, once upon a time, at the siege of La
Rochelle, when I was there, when you were there, when we both were
there, a certain Arab, who was celebrated for the manner in which he
adjusted culverins. He was a clever fellow, although of a very odd
complexion, which was the same color as your olives. Well, this Arab,
whenever he had done eating or working, used to sit down to rest
himself, as I am resting myself now, and smoked I cannot tell you what
sort of magical leaves, in a large amber-mouthed tube; and if any
officers, happening to pass, reproached him for being always asleep, he
used quietly to reply: 'Better to sit down than to stand up, to lie down
than to sit down, to be dead than to lie down.' He was an acutely
melancholy Arab, and I remember him perfectly well, form the color of
his skin, and the style of his conversation. He used to cut off the heads
of Protestants with the most singular gusto!"
"Precisely; and then used to embalm them, when they were worth the
trouble; and when he was thus engaged with his herbs and plants about
him, he looked like a basket-maker making baskets."
"You are quite right, Planchet, he did."
"Oh! I can remember things very well, at times!"
"I have no doubt of it; but what do you think of his mode of

reasoning?"
"I think it good in one sense, but very stupid in another."
"Expound your meaning, M. Planchet."
"Well, monsieur, in point of fact, then, 'better to sit down than to stand
up,' is plain enough, especially when one may be fatigued," and
Planchet smiled in a roguish way; "as for 'better to be lying down,' let
that pass, but as for the last proposition, that it is 'better to be dead than
alive,' it is, in my opinion, very absurd, my own undoubted preference
being for my bed; and if you are not of my opinion, it is simply, as I
have already had the honor of telling you, because you are boring
yourself to death."
"Planchet, do you know M. La Fontaine?"
"The chemist at the corner of the Rue Saint-Mederic?"
"No, the writer of fables."
"Oh! _Maitre Corbeau!_"
"Exactly; well, then, I am like his hare."
"He has got a hare also, then?"
"He has all sorts of animals."
"Well, what does his hare do, then?"
"M. La Fontaine's hare thinks."
"Ah, ah!"
"Planchet, I am like that hare - I am thinking."
"You are thinking, you say?" said Planchet, uneasily.
"Yes; your house is dull enough to drive people to think; you will admit
that, I hope."
"And yet, monsieur, you have a look-out upon the street."
"Yes; and wonderfully interesting that is, of course."
"But it is no less true, monsieur, that, if you were living at the back of
the house, you would bore yourself - I mean, you would think - more
than ever."
"Upon my word, Planchet, I hardly know that."
"Still," said the grocer, "if your reflections are at all like those which
led you to restore King Charles II. - " and Planchet finished by a little
laugh which was not without its meaning.
"Ah! Planchet, my friend," returned D'Artagnan, "you are getting
ambitious."
"Is there no other king to be restored, M. d'Artagnan - no second Monk

to be packed up, like a salted hog, in a deal box?"
"No, my dear Planchet; all the kings are seated on their respective
thrones; less comfortably so, perhaps, than I am upon this chair; but, at
all events, there they are." And D'Artagnan sighed deeply.
"Monsieur d'Artagnan," said Planchet, "you are making me very
uneasy."
"You are very good, Planchet."
"I begin to suspect something."
"What is it?"
"Monsieur d'Artagnan, you are getting thin."
"Oh!" said D'Artagnan, striking his chest which sounded like an empty
cuirass, "it is impossible, Planchet."
"Ah!"