Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons | Page 4

of my body, I should
quickly have done it. But that glorious Being who is kinder to his
creatures than they are to themselves, did not leave me to remain in this

distressing state." The plan of salvation through a crucified Redeemer,
gradually unfolded itself before her; she began to take delight in those
attributes of God which before had filled her with abhorrence; and
although she did not at first imagine that this was the new heart for
which she had sought so earnestly, yet she was constrained to commit
all her interests for time and eternity unreservedly to that Saviour, who
now seemed infinitely worthy of the service of her whole existence.[1]
The change in her from extreme worldliness to a life of piety and
prayer was deep and permanent. Hers was no half-way character. While
she was of the world, she pursued its follies with entire devotion of
heart; and when she once renounced it as unsatisfying, and unworthy of
her immortal aspirations, she renounced it solemnly and finally. Her
ardor for learning did not abate, but instead of being inspired, as
formerly by a thirst for human applause and distinction, it was now
prompted by her sense of responsibility to God for the cultivation of the
talents he had given her, and her desire to make herself increasingly
useful. In the sketch referred to she remarks, "I attended my studies in
school with far different feelings and different motives from what I had
ever done before. I felt my obligation to improve all I had to the glory
of God; and since he in his providence had favored me with advantages
for improving my mind, I felt that I should be like the slothful servant
if I neglected them. I therefore diligently employed all my hours in
school in acquiring useful knowledge, and spent my evenings and part
of the night in spiritual enjoyments." "Such was my thirst for religious
knowledge, that I frequently spent a great part of the night in reading
religious books." A friend says of her: "She thirsted for the knowledge
of gospel truth in all its relations and dependencies. Besides the daily
study of the scripture with Guise, Orton, and Scott before her, she
perused with deep interest the works of Edwards, Hopkins, Belamy,
Doddridge, &c. With Edwards on Redemption, she was instructed,
quickened, strengthened. Well do I remember the elevated smile that
beamed on her countenance when she first spoke to me of its precious
contents. When reading scripture, sermons, or other works, if she met
with anything dark or intricate, she would mark the passage, and beg
the first clergyman who called at her father's to elucidate and explain
it."

How evidently to us, though unconsciously to herself, was her
Heavenly Father thus fitting her for the work he was preparing for her.
Had she known that she was to spend her days in instructing bigoted
and captious idolaters in religious knowledge, she could not have
trained herself for the task more wisely than she was thus led to do.
While, under the guidance of the Spirit of truth, she was thus
cultivating her intellect, that same Spirit was also sanctifying and
purifying her heart. She loathed sin both in herself and others, and
strove to avoid it, not from the fear of hell, but from fear of displeasing
her Father in heaven.
In one place she writes: "Were it left to myself whether to follow the
vanities of the world, and go to heaven at last, or to live a religious life,
have trials with sin and temptation, and sometimes enjoy the light of
God's reconciled countenance, I should not hesitate a moment in
choosing the latter, for there is no real satisfaction in the enjoyments of
time and sense."
On the fourteenth of August, 1806, she made a public profession of
religion, and united with the Congregational church at Bradford, being
in her seventeenth year.
Very early in her religious life she became sensible that if unusual
advantages for acquiring knowledge had fallen to her lot, she was the
more bound to use her talents and acquirements for the benefit of others
less favored than herself. Actuated by such motives, she opened a small
school in her native place, and subsequently taught in several
neighboring villages. Her example in this respect is surely worthy of
imitation. Perhaps no person is more admirable than a young lady fitted
like Miss Hasseltine by a cultivated mind and engaging manners to
shine in society, who having the choice between a life of ease and one
of personal exertion, chooses voluntarily, or only in obedience to the
dictates of conscience, the weary and self-denying path of the teacher.
And probably such a course would oftener be chosen, were young
persons aware of the