Life of Bunyan | Page 8

is only by studying
faiths that many have come at last to an indirect and circuitous
acquaintance with Christ. By some such misdirection Bunyan was
misled. In quest of faith he went a long and joyless journey, and was
wearied with the greatness of his way. It was secretly urged upon his
mind, that if he had faith he would be able to work miracles; and
passages of Scripture were borne in upon his mind, which bespoke the
omnipotence of faith. One day, on the road from Elstow to Bedford, it
was suggested to his mind to try some miracle, and that miracle should
be, "to say to the puddles which were in the horse-pads, 'Be dry,' and to
the dry places, 'Be you puddles.'" However, before doing this, he
thought he should go over the hedge and pray for faith, and then come
and speak the word. "But what if, after you have prayed and tried to do
it, nothing happens?" The dread of this alternative made him postpone
the anxious experiment, and left him still in doubt.
Then he had a sort of waking vision, suggested by what he had seen in
his pious friends at Bedford. "I saw as if they were on the sunny side of
some high mountain, there refreshing themselves with the pleasant
beams of the sun, while I was shivering and shrinking in the cold,
afflicted with frost, snow, and dark clouds. Methought also, betwixt me
and them, I saw a wall that did compass about this mountain; now
through this wall my soul did greatly desire to pass, concluding that if I
could, I would even go into the very midst of them, and there also
comfort myself with the heat of their sun. About this wall I thought
myself to go again and again, still prying as I went, to see if I could
find some gap or passage to enter therein. But none could I find for
some time. At the last I saw, as it were, a narrow gap, like a little
doorway in the wall, through which I attempted to pass. Now, the
passage being very strait and narrow, I made many offers to get in, but
all in vain, even until I was wellnigh quite beat out, by striving to get in.
At last, with great striving, methought I at first did get in my head, and
after that, by a sideling striving, my shoulders and my whole body. {1}
Then was I exceeding glad; went and sat down in the midst of them,

and so was comforted with the light and heat of their sun. Now, this
mountain and wall were thus made out to me: The mountain signified
the church of the living God; the sun that shone thereon, the
comfortable shining of his merciful face on them that were therein: the
wall, I thought, was the world, that did make separation between the
Christians and the world; and the gap which was in the wall, I thought
was Jesus Christ, who is the way to God the Father. But forasmuch as
the passage was wonderful narrow, even so narrow that I could not, but
with great difficulty, enter in thereat, it shewed me that none could
enter into life but those that were in downright earnest, and unless they
left that wicked world behind them; for here was only room for body
and soul, but not for body and soul and sin." The dream did him good,
for, though it brought him no absolute assurance, it inspirited his efforts
after it.
There is scarcely a fear which can assail an inquiring spirit which did
not at some stage of his progress arrest the mind of Bunyan. At one
time he was afflicted by an erroneous view of the doctrine of election.
Looking at them from the outer and under side, those purposes of
everlasting love which secure their safety who have already got within
the precincts of salvation, appeared bristling and forbidding--a
frowning chevaux de frise, rather than a fence of protection and
preservation. And when somewhat relieved from this perplexity, he fell
into another. He feared that the day of grace was gone; and so
impressed on his mind was this mournful conviction, that he could do
little else than upbraid his own infatuation for allowing the one
propitious season to pass for ever away. But the words, "Compel them
to come in, that my house may be filled;" and those others, "And yet
there is room," brought him relief. Then, again, he saw that the call of
Christ was needful to make a man a disciple; and he feared that he
should never get that call. "But oh! how I now loved those words that
spake of a Christian's calling as when the