Letters to a Daughter and A Little Sermon to School Girls

Letters to a Daughter and A
Little Sermon
by Helen Ekin
Starrett

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Title: Letters to a Daughter and A Little Sermon to School Girls
Author: Helen Ekin Starrett
Release Date: March 20, 2005 [EBook #15419]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
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TO A DAUGHTER ***

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LETTERS TO A DAUGHTER AND A LITTLE SERMON TO
SCHOOL-GIRLS.
BY HELEN EKIN STARRETT,
Author of "The Future of Educated Women," etc.
CHICAGO: JANSEN, McCLURG, & COMPANY. 1886.

COPYRIGHT, BY JANSEN, MCCLURG, & CO. A.D. 1885.

CONTENTS.
LETTER I. BEHAVIOR AND MANNERS 5 LETTER II.
SELF-CONTROL AND SELF-CULTURE 16 LETTER III. AIMS IN
LIFE 27 LETTER IV. PERSONAL HABITS 35 LETTER V.
SOCIETY--CONVERSATION 46 LETTER VI. ASSOCIATES AND
FRIENDS 59 LETTER VII. TACT--UNOBTRUSIVENESS 71
LETTER VIII. WHO ARE THE CULTIVATED? 81 LETTER IX.
RELIGIOUS CULTURE AND DUTY 88
A LITTLE SERMON TO SCHOOL-GIRLS 101

LETTERS TO A DAUGHTER.
LETTER I.
BEHAVIOR AND MANNERS.
My Dear Daughter:--One of the greatest blessings I could wish for you,
as you pass out from the guardianship of home into life with its duties
and trials, is that you should possess the power of winning love and
friends. With this power, the poor girl is rich; without it, the richest girl

is poor. In the main, this power of winning friends and love depends
upon two things: behavior and manners. Between these there is an
important distinction, but one is the outgrowth of the other. The root of
good manners is good behavior. Consider with me for a little what each
implies.
Behavior is a revealer of real character. It has especially to do with the
more serious duties and relations of life. Its greatest importance is in
the home. How well do I remember a visit, made in my youth, to a
school friend whom I had learned to admire greatly for her superior
intellect, quick wit, power of acquiring knowledge, and ability to recite
well in class. In her home she was rude and disrespectful and even
disobedient to her parents; cross and sarcastic with her brothers and
sisters; selfish and indolent in all matters pertaining to the work of the
household. What a disenchantment was my experience! That great and
good man, who has written so many noble precepts about the conduct
of life, Mr. Emerson, in speaking of and praising a noble citizen, says:
"Never was such force, good meaning, good sense, good action,
combined with such lovely domestic behavior, such modesty, and
persistent preference for others." This was what was lacking in my
school friend: lovely domestic behavior. Nothing could compensate for
this deficiency.
What was needed in this young girl in order that she might have
exhibited in her daily life a "lovely domestic behavior"? An almost
total reconstruction of character; such a cultivation of the moral sense
as would have made it a matter of conscience with her to "honor her
father and mother," to be respectful to them and desirous of pleasing
and serving them. Selfishness was the main cause of her ill-treatment of
her brothers and sisters, as it was of her indolence, and her indifference
to the performance of her share of the household duties. Her behavior
in the home was such that she repelled, rather than attracted, affection.
Her own personal preference, mood, feeling, were constantly allowed
to control her conduct; and the deep underlying deficiency in her
character was lack of a tender conscience and of a sense of duty.
Lovely domestic behavior is the natural outgrowth and expression of a

beautiful, harmonious, and lovely character In order to behave
beautifully, we must cultivate assiduously the graces of the spirit. We
must persistently strive against selfishness, ill-temper irritability,
indolence. It is impossible for the selfish or ill-tempered girl to win
love and friends. Generosity, kindness, self-denial, industry--these are
the traits which inspire love and win friends. These are the graces that
will make the humblest home beautiful and happy, and without which
the costliest mansion is a mere empty shell.
One more point in regard to behavior I wish to impress upon your mind
as of very great importance, although it relates less to the home and
more to general society. I mean that of modest behavior as
distinguished from forwardness and boldness. One of the greatest
charms of young