Letters to His Son 1753-54 | Page 9

eye. The best model is always that which is most universally
allowed to be the best, though in strictness it may possibly not be so.
We must take most things as they are, we cannot make them what we
would, nor often what they should be; and where moral duties are not
concerned, it is more prudent to follow than to attempt to lead. Adieu.

LETTER CLXXXVIII
BATH, October 3, 1753
MY DEAR FRIEND: You have set out well at The Hague; you are in
love with Madame Munter, which I am very glad of: you are in the fine
company there, and I hope one of it: for it is not enough, at your age, to
be merely in good company; but you should, by your address and
attentions, make that good company think you one of them. There is a
tribute due to beauty, even independently of further views; which
tribute I hope you paid with alacrity to Madame Munter and Madame
Degenfeldt: depend upon it, they expected it, and were offended in
proportion as that tribute seemed either unwillingly or scantily paid. I
believe my friend Kreuningen admits nobody now to his table, for fear
of their communicating the plague to him, or at least the bite of a mad
dog. Pray profit of the entrees libres that the French Ambassador has
given you; frequent him, and SPEAK to him. I think you will not do
amiss to call upon Mr. Burrish, at Aix-la-Chapelle, since it is so little
out of your way; and you will do still better, if you would, which I
know you will not, drink those waters for five or six days only, to scour
your stomach and bowels a little; I am sure it would do you a great deal
of good Mr. Burrish can, doubtless, give you the best letters to Munich;
and he will naturally give you some to Comte Preysing, or Comte
Sinsheim, and such sort of grave people; but I could wish that you
would ask him for some to young fellows of pleasure, or fashionable
coquettes, that, you may be 'dans l'honnete debauche de Munich'. A

propos of your future motions; I leave you in a great measure the
master of them, so shall only suggest my thoughts to you upon that
subject.
You have three electoral courts in view, Bonn, Munich, and Manheim.
I would advise you to see two of them rather cursorily, and fix your
tabernacle at the third, whichever that may be, for a considerable time.
For instance, should you choose (as I fancy you will), to make
Manheim the place of your residence, stay only ten or twelve days at
Bonn, and as long at Munich, and then go and fix at Manheim; and so,
vice versa, if you should like Bonn or Munich better than you think you
would Manheim, make that the place of your residence, and only visit
the other two. It is certain that no man can be much pleased himself, or
please others much, in any place where he is only a bird of passage for
eight or ten days; neither party thinking it worth while to make an
acquaintance, still less to form any connection, for so short a time; but
when months are the case, a man may domesticate himself pretty well,
and very soon not be looked upon as a stranger. This is the real utility
of traveling, when, by contracting a familiarity at any place, you get
into the inside of it, and see it in its undress. That is the only way of
knowing the customs, the manners, and all the little characteristical
peculiarities that distinguish one place from another; but then this
familiarity is not to be brought about by cold, formal visits of half an
hour: no; you must show a willingness, a desire, an impatience of
forming connections, 'il faut s'y preter, et y mettre du liant, du desir de
plaire. Whatever you do approve, you must be lavish in your praises of;
and you must learn to commend what you do not approve of, if it is
approved of there. You are not much given to praise, I know; but it is
because you do not yet know how extremely people are engaged by a
seeming sanction to their own opinions, prejudices, and weaknesses,
even in the merest trifles. Our self-love is mortified when we think our
opinions, and even our tastes, customs, and dresses, either arraigned or
condemned; as on the contrary, it is tickled and flattered by approbation.
I will give you a remarkable instance of this kind. The famous Earl of
Shaftesbury, in the flagitious reign of Charles the Second, while he was
Chancellor, had a mind to be a favorite, as well as a