Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son | Page 5

while he knew more about the
history of banking than the president, and more about political
economy than the board of directors, he couldn't learn the difference
between a fiver that the Government turned out and one that was run
off on a hand press in a Halsted Street basement. Got him a job on a
paper, but while he knew six different languages and all the facts about
the Arctic regions, and the history of dancing from the days of Old
Adam down to those of Old Nick, he couldn't write up a satisfactory
account of the Ice-Men's Ball. Could prove that two and two made four
by trigonometry and geometry, but couldn't learn to keep books; was
thick as thieves with all the high-toned poets, but couldn't write a good,
snappy, merchantable street-car ad.; knew a thousand diseases that
would take a man off before he could blink, but couldn't sell a
thousand-dollar tontine policy; knew the lives of our Presidents as well
as if he'd been raised with them, but couldn't place a set of the Library
of the Fathers of the Republic, though they were offered on little easy
payments that made them come as easy as borrowing them from a
friend. Finally I hit on what seemed to be just the right thing. I figured
out that any fellow who had such a heavy stock of information on hand,
ought to be able to job it out to good advantage, and so I got him a

place teaching. But it seemed that he'd learned so much about the best
way of teaching boys, that he told his principal right on the jump that
he was doing it all wrong, and that made him sore; and he knew so
much about the dead languages, which was what he was hired to teach,
that he forgot he was handling live boys, and as he couldn't tell it all to
them in the regular time, he kept them after hours, and that made them
sore and put Stan out of a job again. The last I heard of him he was
writing articles on Why Young Men Fail, and making a success of it,
because failing was the one subject on which he was practical.
I simply mention Stan in passing as an example of the fact that it isn't
so much knowing a whole lot, as knowing a little and how to use it that
counts.
Your affectionate father, JOHN GRAHAM.

+----------------------------+ | No. 2 | +----------------------------+ | From
John Graham, at | | the Union Stock Yards | | in Chicago, to his son, | |
Pierrepont, at Harvard | | University. | | | | Mr. Pierrepont's expense | |
account has just passed | | under his father's eye, | | and has furnished
him | | with a text for some | | plain particularities. |
+----------------------------+

II
CHICAGO, May 4, 189-
Dear Pierrepont: The cashier has just handed me your expense account
for the month, and it fairly makes a fellow hump-shouldered to look it
over. When I told you that I wished you to get a liberal education, I
didn't mean that I wanted to buy Cambridge. Of course the bills won't
break me, but they will break you unless you are very, very careful.
I have noticed for the last two years that your accounts have been
growing heavier every month, but I haven't seen any signs of your

taking honors to justify the increased operating expenses; and that is
bad business--a good deal like feeding his weight in corn to a scalawag
steer that won't fat up.
I haven't said anything about this before, as I trusted a good deal to
your native common-sense to keep you from making a fool of yourself
in the way that some of these young fellows who haven't had to work
for it do. But because I have sat tight, I don't want you to get it into
your head that the old man's rich, and that he can stand it, because he
won't stand it after you leave college. The sooner you adjust your
spending to what your earning capacity will be, the easier they will find
it to live together.
The only sure way that a man can get rich quick is to have it given to
him or to inherit it. You are not going to get rich that way--at least, not
until after you have proved your ability to hold a pretty important
position with the firm; and, of course, there is just one place from
which a man can start for that position with Graham & Co. It doesn't
make any difference whether he is the son of the old man or of the
cellar boss--that place is