Lectures of Col. R.G. Ingersoll | Page 8

want either in time or eternity?
Down, forever down, with any religion that requires upon its ignorant
altar its sacrifice of the goddess Reason; that compels her to abdicate
forever the shining throne of the soul, strips from her form the imperial
purple, snatches from her hand the sceptre of thought and makes her the
bond-woman of senseless faith.
If a man should tell you he had the most beautiful painting in the world,
and after taking you where it was should insist upon having your eyes
shut, you would likely suspect either that he had no painting or that it
was some pitiful daub. Should he tell you that he was a most excellent
performer on the violin, and yet refused to play unless your ears were
stopped, you would think, to say the least of it, that he had an odd way
of convincing you of his musical ability. But would this conduct be any
more wonderful than that of a religionist who asks that before
examining his creed you will have the kindness to throw away your
reason? The first gentleman says: "Keep your eyes shut; my picture
will bear everything but being seen. Keep your ears stopped; my music
objects to nothing but being heard." The last says: "Away with your
reason; my religion dreads nothing but being understood."
So far as I am concerned, I most cheerfully admit that most Christians
are honest and most ministers sincere. We do not attack them; we
attack their creed. We accord to them the same rights that we ask for
ourselves. We believe that their doctrines are hurtful, and I am going to
do what I can against them. We believe that the frightful text, "He that
believes shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be damned," has
covered the earth with blood. You might as well say that all that have
red hair shall be damned. It has filled the heart with arrogance, cruelty,
and murder. It has caused the religious wars; bound hundreds of
thousands to the stake; founded inquisitions; filled dungeons; invented
instruments of torture; taught the mother to hate her child; imprisoned
the mind; filled the world with ignorance; persecuted the lovers of
wisdom; built the monasteries and convents; made happiness a crime,
investigation a sin, and self-reliance a blasphemy. It has poisoned the
springs of learning; misdirected the energies of the world; filled all
countries with want; housed the people in hovels; fed them with famine;
and but for the efforts of a few brave infidels, it would have taken the

world back to the midnight of barbarism, and left the heavens without a
star.
The maligners of Paine say that he had no right to attack this doctrine,
because he was unacquainted with the dead languages, and, for this
reason, it was a piece of pure impudence to investigate the scriptures.
Is it necessary to understand Hebrew in order to know that cruelty is
not a virtue, that murder is inconsistent with infinite goodness, and that
eternal punishment can be inflicted upon man only by an eternal fiend?
Is it really essential to conjugate the Greek verbs before yon can make
up your mind as to the probability of dead people getting out of their
graves? Must one be versed in Latin before he is entitled to express his
opinion as to the genuiness of a pretended revelation from God?
Common sense belongs exclusively to no tongue. Logic is not
confirmed to, nor has it been buried with, the dead languages. Paine
attacked the Bible as it is translated. If the translation is wrong, let its
defenders correct it.
The Christianity of Paine's day is not the Christianity of our time. There
has been a great improvement since then. It is better now because there
is less of it. One hundred and fifty years ago the foremost preachers of
our time--that gentleman who preaches in this magnificent hall--would
have perished at the stake. Lord, Lord, how John Calvin would have
liked to have roasted this man, and the perfume of his burning flesh
would have filled heaven with joy. A Universalist would have been
torn to pieces in England, Scotland, and America. Unitarians would
have found themselves in the stocks, pelted by the rabble with dead
cats, after which their ears would have been cut off, their tongues bored,
and their foreheads branded. Less than one hundred and fifty years ago
the following law was in force in Maryland:
"Be it enacted by the right honorable, the lord proprietor, by and with
the advice and consent of his lordship's governor, and the upper and
lower houses of the assembly, and the authority of the same: That if
any person shall hereafter, within this province, willingly, maliciously,
and advisedly, by writing or