Lazy Thoughts of a Lazy Girl | Page 4

fathers, husbands,
and brothers would say. But, then, you see, they are Philistines and do
not understand.
But though we suffer somewhat at the hands of these shop people, I
think in their turn they have to endure a great deal more from their
customers. I have seen old ladies order nearly the whole shop out, turn

over the articles, and having entirely exhausted the patience of their
victims, say, "Yes--all very pretty--but I don't think I will buy any
to-day, thank you," and they move off to other counters to enact the
same scene over again. Selfish old things!
I was dreadfully hard up a short time ago, and of course my bills were
ten times as big as usual. I had no money coming in, and could not
conceive how I was to meet my debts.
It is astonishing, when you come to try it, how few paths there are open
for poverty-stricken ladies to make a little money, especially when your
object is to keep your difficulties a secret from your mankind. I tried
every imaginable way without success. What is the good of having an
expensive education, of being taught French and German--neither of
which languages, by the way, when brought to the test, a girl can ever
talk, or at any rate so as to be understood. What is the good of it all, I
say, when you want to turn your hand to making a little money? I felt
quite angry the other day when, our cook being ill, we had a woman in
to take her place. Fifteen shillings a week she made! She, who had had
little or nothing spent on her education, could yet make more shillings
in a week than I could pence! I began to wish I had been brought up as
a scullery maid.
I can paint rather well, but what are the advantages of art compared to
those of cookery? Many and many a shop I went into, carrying
specimens of my talent, and asking the owners if they would employ
me to decorate their tambourines, bellows, &c. But no, they all had
their own especial artists, and were quite suited. It is such a dreadfully
humiliating business. At the first place I could have slain the man for
his impertinence in declining, and I left the shop with a haughty mien
and my head in the air. But I grew accustomed to it in time, and even
used to try a little persuasion, which, however, proved of no avail. One
man offered to exhibit my wares (I felt quite like a peddler going his
rounds), and through him I sold two tambourines. Then who so proud
as I? though my profits only came to a few shillings. However small,
the first taste of success is always exhilarating, though indeed my
confidence did not last long, for this was my first and last experience of

money-making in the painting line.
I used to search the sale and exchange columns of the papers, and
found once that someone wanted music transposed. I wrote directly
offering my services, and charging a shilling per piece or song. For a
wonder I was successful, for the person answered, asking for a
specimen of my skill, which she was pleased to say would do very
well.
How her letters used to amuse me! She must have been a rather
incapable singing mistress I think. Her letters though properly spelt
were written in an uneducated hand, and she addressed me as if I were
a servant. She used to give me very little time in which to transpose her
songs, and insisted on their being finished when she wanted them.
Sometimes I was quite tired out, for copying music is not a thing to be
done in a hurry.
Somehow, our negotiations did not last long. Whether I grew careless,
or she found others to do the work cheaper, I do not know, but she
suddenly withdrew her custom, and I have never heard from her since.
My next venture was tale writing. Who has not tried this most
unsatisfactory method? It is a tremendously anxious time when your
first effort is sent out. What a lot of money you expect to obtain for it!
You do not intend to be unprepared, so you spend every penny in your
mind beforehand. Then there is the honor and glory of it! You will hear
everyone talking of the cleverly written tale and wondering who is the
gifted author!
What made me more hopeful was the possession of a cousin, who was
very successful in this line. Indeed, she has reached the three-volume
stage by now, and is beginning to be quite well known. I have lost my
interest in her, however, since she took me and