Laughable Lyrics | Page 4

his toes if his nose is warm;
And it's perfectly known
that a Pobble's toes
Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
III.
The Pobble swam fast and well,
And when boats or ships came near him,
He
tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
So that all the world could hear him.
And all the Sailors and Admirals
cried,
When they saw him nearing the further side,--
"He has gone
to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
IV.
But before he touched the shore,--
The shore of the Bristol Channel,
A sea-green Porpoise carried away
His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
And when he came to observe his feet,

Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
His face at once became
forlorn
On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
V.
And nobody ever knew,
From that dark day to the present,
Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
In a manner so far from pleasant.
Whether the shrimps or crawfish
gray,
Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
Nobody knew; and
nobody knows
How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
VI.
The Pobble who has no toes

Was placed in a friendly Bark,
And they rowed him back, and carried
him up
To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
And she made him a feast, at his earnest
wish,
Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
And she said, "It's a
fact the whole world knows,
That Pobbles are happier without their
toes."
THE NEW VESTMENTS.
There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
Who invented a
purely original dress;
And when it was perfectly made and complete,

He opened the door and walked into the street.
By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
In the middle of which
he inserted his head;
His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,

The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
His Drawers
were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
His Stockings were skins,
but it is not known whose;
His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of
Pork Chops;
His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
His
Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
And a girdle of
Biscuits to keep it in order;
And he wore over all, as a screen from
bad weather,
A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, Of all sorts of
Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
And from every long street and dark
lane in the town
Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.

Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
Four Apes
seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; Three Kids ate up half of
his Pancaky Coat,
And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;

An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore up his
Pork Waistcoat and
Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
And while they were growling, and
mumbling the Chops,
Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate
Drops.
He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
For scores of

fat Pigs came again and again:
They rushed out of stables and hovels
and doors;
They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
And now from the housetops with screechings descend
Striped,
spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: They jumped on his
shoulders and knocked off his hat,
When Crows, Ducks, and Hens
made a mincemeat of that;
They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,

And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
They swallowed the last
of his Shirt with a squall,--
Whereon he ran home with no clothes on
at all.
And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
"I will not wear a
similar dress any more,
Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
I.
Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
Climbed to the top of a wall.
And they sate to watch the sunset sky,

And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
And the Biscuit Buffalo call.

They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
And both were as happy
as happy could be,
Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
It has just come
into my head,
Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
II.
"Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
Just like pieces of stone,
On to the thorns, or into the moat,
What
would become of your new green coat?
And might you not break a
bone?
It never occurred to me before,
That perhaps we shall never

go down any more!"
And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
What put it into
your head
To climb up this wall, my own
Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
III.
Mr. Discobbolos answered,
"At first it gave me pain,
And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink

When your exclamation made me think
We might never get down
again!
But now I believe it is wiser far
To remain for ever just
where we are."
And Mr. Discobbolos said,
"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
It has just come into
my head
We shall never go down again,
Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
IV.
So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
Stood up and began to sing,--
"Far away