Laughable Lyrics | Page 2

he seeks, but seeks
in vain,
To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
Lonely and wild, all
night he goes,--
The Dong with a luminous Nose!
And all who
watch at the midnight hour,
From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,

Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
Moving along through the dreary
night,--
"This is the hour when forth he goes,
The Dong with a luminous
Nose!
Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
He goes!
He goes,--

The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
[Illustration]
Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
One caught a Muffin,
the other caught a Mouse.
Said he who caught the Muffin to him who
caught the Mouse,-- "This happens just in time! For we've nothing in
the house, Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
And
what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
And what can we
expect if we haven't any dinner,
But to lose our teeth and eyelashes
and keep on growing thinner?"
Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- "We
might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! If we had
but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
But how to get that
Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
And asked for Sage
and Onion as they wandered up and down;
They borrowed two large

Onions, but no Sage was to be found In the Shops, or in the Market, or
in all the Gardens round.
But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, And to its
purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
And there among the
rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
An earnest Man, who reads all
day a most perplexing page.
Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all
studious as he sits,-- And pull him down, and chop him into endless
little bits!
Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into
Scraps),-- When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
The nearly
purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
And at the top, among the
rocks, all seated in a nook,
They saw that Sage a-reading of a most
enormous book.
"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough
in! We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, At those
two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
And over Crag and
precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- At once they rolled, and
never stopped in lane or field or town; And when they reached their
house, they found (besides their want
of Stuffin'), The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the
Muffin.
They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; And from
that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
[Illustration]
THE PELICAN CHORUS.

King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
No other Birds so grand we see!

None but we have feet like fins!
With lovely leathery throats and
chins!
Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
We think no Birds so happy as we!

Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
We think so then, and we
thought so still
We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
By night we sleep on the cliffs
above;
By day we fish, and at eve we stand
On long bare islands of
yellow sand.
And when the sun sinks slowly down,
And the great
rock walls grow dark and brown,
Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
And the Ivory Ibis starlike
skim,
Wing to wing we dance around,
Stamping our feet with a
flumpy sound,
Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
And this is
the song we nightly snort,--
Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
We think no Birds so happy as we!

Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
We think so then, and we
thought so still!
Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
And all the Birds received her
well.
To do her honor a feast we made
For every bird that can swim
or wade,--
Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
Cranes, and
Flamingoes with scarlet back,
Plovers and Storks, and Geese in
clouds,
Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
Thousands of Birds
in wondrous flight!
They ate and drank and danced all night,
And
echoing back from the rocks you heard
Multitude-echoes from Bird
and Bird,--
Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
We think no Birds so happy as we!

Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
We think so then, and we
thought so still!

Yes, they came; and among the rest
The King of the Cranes all
grandly dressed.
Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
Between the
ends of his blue dress-coat;
With pea-green trowsers all so neat,

And a delicate frill to hide his feet
(For though no one