Lady Windermeres Fan | Page 8

which guests are entering. Door L.U. opens on to
illuminated terrace. Palms, flowers, and brilliant lights. Room crowded with guests. Lady
Windermere is receiving them.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Up C.] So strange Lord Windermere isn't here. Mr. Hopper
is very late, too. You have kept those five dances for him, Agatha? [Comes down.]
LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Sitting on sofa.] Just let me see your card. I'm so glad Lady
Windermere has revived cards.--They're a mother's only safeguard. You dear simple little
thing! [Scratches out two names.] No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly
younger sons! It looks so fast! The last two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr.
Hopper.
[Enter MR. DUMBY and LADY PLYMDALE from the ball-room.]
LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Fanning herself.] The air is so pleasant there.
PARKER. Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. Mr. Guy Berkeley.
[These people enter as announced.]
DUMBY. Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?

LADY STUTFIELD. I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It's been a delightful season, hasn't it?
DUMBY. Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the last ball of
the season?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It has been a very dull season,
hasn't it?
DUMBY. Dreadfully dull! Dreadfully dull!
MR. COWPER-COWPER. Good evening, Mr. Dumby. I suppose this will be the last ball
of the season?
DUMBY. Oh, I think not. There'll probably be two more. [Wanders back to LADY
PLYMDALE.]
PARKER. Mr. Rufford. Lady Jedburgh and Miss Graham. Mr. Hopper.
[These people enter as announced.]
HOPPER. How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? [Bows to
LADY AGATHA.]
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Dear Mr. Hopper, how nice of you to come so early. We all
know how you are run after in London.
HOPPER. Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive in London as they are
in Sydney.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Ah! we know your value, Mr. Hopper. We wish there were
more like you. It would make life so much easier. Do you know, Mr. Hopper, dear
Agatha and I are so much interested in Australia. It must be so pretty with all the dear
little kangaroos flying about. Agatha has found it on the map. What a curious shape it is!
Just like a large packing case. However, it is a very young country, isn't it?
HOPPER. Wasn't it made at the same time as the others, Duchess?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. How clever you are, Mr. Hopper. You have a cleverness
quite of your own. Now I mustn't keep you.
HOPPER. But I should like to dance with Lady Agatha, Duchess.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Well, I hope she has a dance left. Have you a dance left,
Agatha?
LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. The next one?

LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.
HOPPER. May I have the pleasure? [LADY AGATHA bows.]
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Mind you take great care of my little chatterbox, Mr.
Hopper.
[LADY AGATHA and MR. HOPPER pass into ball-room.]
[Enter LORD WINDERMERE.]
LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, I want to speak to you.
LADY WINDERMERE. In a moment. [The music drops.]
PARKER. Lord Augustus Lorton.
[Enter LORD AUGUSTUS.]
LORD AUGUSTUS. Good evening, Lady Windermere.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Sir James, will you take me into the ball- room? Augustus
has been dining with us to-night. I really have had quite enough of dear Augustus for the
moment.
[SIR JAMES ROYSTON gives the DUCHESS his aim and escorts her into the
ball-room.]
PARKER. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Bowden. Lord and Lady Paisley. Lord Darlington.
[These people enter as announced.]
LORD AUGUSTUS. [Coming up to LORD WINDERMERE.] Want to speak to you
particularly, dear boy. I'm worn to a shadow. Know I don't look it. None of us men do
look what we really are. Demmed good thing, too. What I want to know is this. Who is
she? Where does she come from? Why hasn't she got any demmed relations? Demmed
nuisance, relations! But they make one so demmed respectable.
LORD WINDERMERE. You are talking of Mrs. Erlynne, I suppose? I only met her six
months ago. Till then, I never knew of her existence.
LORD AUGUSTUS. You have seen a good deal of her since then.
LORD WINDERMERE. [Coldly.] Yes, I have seen a good deal of her since then. I have
just seen her.
LORD AUGUSTUS. Egad! the women are very down on her. I have been dining with
Arabella this evening! By Jove! you should have heard what she said about Mrs. Erlynne.
She didn't leave a rag on her. . . [Aside.] Berwick and I told her that didn't matter much,

as the lady in question must have an extremely fine figure. You should