Lady Windermeres Fan | Page 2

L.C.] I am quite miserable, Lady
Windermere. You must tell me what I did. [Sits down at table L.]
LADY WINDERMERE. Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole
evening.
LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that the
only pleasant things to pay ARE compliments. They're the only things we CAN pay.
LADY WINDERMERE. [Shaking her head.] No, I am talking very seriously. You
mustn't laugh, I am quite serious. I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man
should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of
things that he doesn't mean.
LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, but I did mean them. [Takes tea which she offers him.]
LADY WINDERMERE. [Gravely.] I hope not. I should be sorry to have to quarrel with
you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, you know that. But I shouldn't like you at all
if I thought you were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most
other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse.
LORD DARLINGTON. We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere.
LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you make that your special one? [Still seated at table
L.]
LORD DARLINGTON. [Still seated L.C.] Oh, nowadays so many conceited people go
about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a sweet and modest
disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be
good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the
astounding stupidity of optimism.
LADY WINDERMERE. Don't you WANT the world to take you seriously then, Lord
Darlington?
LORD DARLINGTON. No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes seriously?
All the dull people one can think of, from the Bishops down to the bores. I should like
YOU to take me very seriously, Lady Windermere, YOU more than any one else in life.

LADY WINDERMERE. Why--why me?
LORD DARLINGTON. [After a slight hesitation.] Because I think we might be great
friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a friend some day.
LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you say that?
LORD DARLINGTON. Oh!--we all want friends at times.
LADY WINDERMERE. I think we're very good friends already, Lord Darlington. We
can always remain so as long as you don't -
LORD DARLINGTON. Don't what?
LADY WINDERMERE. Don't spoil it by saying extravagant silly things to me. You
think I am a Puritan, I suppose? Well, I have something of the Puritan in me. I was
brought up like that. I am glad of it. My mother died when I was a mere child. I lived
always with Lady Julia, my father's elder sister, you know. She was stern to me, but she
taught me what the world is forgetting, the difference that there is between what is right
and what is wrong. SHE allowed of no compromise. I allow of none.
LORD DARLINGTON. My dear Lady Windermere!
LADY WINDERMERE. [Leaning back on the sofa.] You look on me as being behind the
age.--Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same level as an age like this.
LORD DARLINGTON. You think the age very bad?
LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. Nowadays people seem to look on life as a speculation. It
is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice.
LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Oh, anything is better than being sacrificed!
LADY WINDERMERE. [Leaning forward.] Don't say that.
LORD DARLINGTON. I do say it. I feel it--I know it.
[Enter PARKER C.]
PARKER. The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the terrace for to-night,
my lady?
LADY WINDERMERE. You don't think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?
LORD DARLINGTON. I won't hear of its raining on your birthday!
LADY WINDERMERE. Tell them to do it at once, Parker.
[Exit PARKER C.]

LORD DARLINGTON. [Still seated.] Do you think then--of course I am only putting an
imaginary instance--do you think that in the case of a young married couple, say about
two years married, if the husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman
of--well, more than doubtful character--is always calling upon her, lunching with her, and
probably paying her bills--do you think that the wife should not console herself?
LADY WINDERMERE. [Frowning] Console herself?
LORD DARLINGTON. Yes, I think she should--I think she has the right.
LADY WINDERMERE. Because the husband is vile--should the wife be vile also?
LORD DARLINGTON. Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere.
LADY WINDERMERE. It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.
LORD DARLINGTON. Do you know I am afraid that good people do a