Kitcheners Mob | Page 2

character, evidenced by my inability to say no?
Or was it the blood of military forebears asserting itself after many
years of inanition? The latter conclusion being the more pleasing, I
decided that I was the grandson of my Civil War grandfather, and the
worthy descendant of stalwart warriors of a yet earlier period.
I was frank with the recruiting officers. I admitted, rather boasted, of
my American citizenship, but expressed my entire willingness to serve
in the British army in case this should not expatriate me. I had, in fact,
delayed, hoping that an American legion would be formed in London
as had been done in Paris. The announcement was received with some
surprise. A brief conference was held, during which there was much
vigorous shaking of heads. While I awaited the decision I thought of
the steamship ticket in my pocket. I remembered that my boat was to
sail on Friday. I thought of my plans for the future and anticipated the
joy of an early home-coming. Set against this was the prospect of an
indefinite period of soldiering among strangers. "Three years or the
duration of the war" were the terms of the enlistment contract. I had
visions of bloody engagements, of feverish nights in hospital, of
endless years in a home for disabled soldiers. The conference was over,
and the recruiting officer returned to his desk, smiling broadly.
"We'll take you, my lad, if you want to join. You'll just say you are an
Englishman, won't you, as a matter of formality?" Here was an avenue
of escape, beckoning me like an alluring country road winding over the
hills of home. I refused it with the same instinctive swiftness of
decision that had brought me to the medical inspection room. And a
few moments later, I took "the King's shilling," and promised, upon my
oath as a loyal British subject, to bear true allegiance to the Union Jack.
During the completion of other, less important formalities, I was taken
in charge by a sergeant who might have stepped out of any of the
"Barrack-Room Ballads." He was true to type to the last twist in the s
of Atkins. He told me of service in India, Egypt, South Africa. He
showed me both scars and medals with that air of
"Now-I-would-n't-do-this-for-any-one-but-you" which is so flattering
to the novice. He gave me advice as to my best method of procedure

when I should go to Hounslow Barracks to join my unit.
"'An 'ere! Wotever you do an' wotever you s'y, don't forget to myke the
lads think you're an out-an'-outer, if you understand my meaning,--a
Britisher, you know. They'll tyke to you. Strike me blind! Be free an'
easy with 'em,--no swank, mind you!--an' they'll be downright pals with
you. You're different, you know. But don't put on no airs. Wot I mean
is, don't let 'em think that you think you're different. See wot I mean?"
I said that I did.
"An' another thing; talk like 'em."
I confessed that this might prove to be rather a large contract.
"'Ard? S'y! 'Ere! If I 'ad you fer a d'y, I'd 'ave you talkin' like a born
Lunnoner! All you got to do is forget all them aitches. An' you don't
want to s'y 'can't,' like that. S'y 'cawrn't.'"
I said it.
"Now s'y, 'Gor blimy, 'Arry, 'ow's the missus?'"
I did.
"That's right! Oh, you'll soon get the swing of it."
There was much more instruction of the same nature. By the time I was
ready to leave the recruiting offices I felt that I had made great progress
in the vernacular. I said good-bye to the sergeant warmly. As I was
about to leave he made the most peculiar and amusing gesture of a man
drinking.
"A pint o' mild an' bitter," he said confidentially. "The boys always
gives me the price of a pint."
"Right you are, sergeant!" I used the expression like a born Englishman.
And with the liberality of a true soldier, I gave him my shilling, my
first day's wage as a British fighting man.

The remainder of the week I spent mingling with the crowds of enlisted
men at the Horse Guards Parade, watching the bulletin boards for the
appearance of my name which would mean that I was to report at the
regimental depot at Hounslow. My first impression of the men with
whom I was to live for three years, or the duration of the war, was
anything but favorable. The newspapers had been asserting that the new
army was being recruited from the flower of England's young manhood.
The throng at the Horse Guards Parade resembled an army of the
unemployed, and I thought it likely that most of them were misfits,
out-of-works, the kind of men who join