King Henry IV, Part 1 | Page 5

hang a thief.
PRINCE.
No; thou shalt.
FAL.
Shall I? O rare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge.
PRINCE.
Thou judgest false already: I mean, thou shalt have the

hanging of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman.
FAL.
Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour;

as well as waiting in the Court, I can tell you.
PRINCE.
For obtaining of suits?
FAL.
Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath no
lean
wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib-cat or a lugg'd bear.
PRINCE.
Or an old lion, or a lover's lute.
FAL.
Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe.
PRINCE.
What say'st thou to a hare, or the melancholy of
Moor-ditch?
FAL.
Thou hast the most unsavoury similes, and art, indeed, the

most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince,--But, Hal, I pr'ythee
trouble me no more with vanity. I would to God thou and I knew where
a commodity of good names were to be bought. An old lord of the
Council rated me the other day in the street about you, sir,--but I mark'd
him not; and yet he talk'd very wisely,--but I regarded him not; and yet

he talk'd wisely, and in the street too.
PRINCE.
Thou didst well; for wisdom cries out in the streets, and no
man regards it.
FAL.
O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art, indeed, able to corrupt
a saint.
Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal; God forgive thee
for it! Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew nothing; and now am I, if a man
should speak truly, little better than one of the wicked. I must give over
this life, and I will give it over; by the Lord, an I do not, I am a villain:
I'll be damn'd for never a king's son in Christendom.
PRINCE.
Where shall we take a purse to-morrow, Jack?
FAL.
Zounds, where thou wilt, lad; I'll make one: an I do not, call me
villain, and baffle me.
PRINCE.
I see a good amendment of life in thee,--from praying to

purse-taking.
FAL.
Why, Hal, 'tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to labour
in his vocation.
[Enter Pointz.]
--Pointz!--Now shall we know if Gadshill have set a match. O, if men
were to be saved by merit, what hole in Hell were hot enough for him?
This is the most omnipotent villain that ever cried Stand! to a true man.
PRINCE.
Good morrow, Ned.
POINTZ.
Good morrow, sweet Hal.--What says Monsieur Remorse?
what
says Sir John Sack-and-sugar? Jack, how agrees the Devil and
thee about thy soul, that thou soldest him on Good-Friday last for a cup
of Madeira and a cold capon's leg?
PRINCE.
Sir John stands to his word,--the Devil shall have his

bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of proverbs,--he will give the
Devil his due.
POINTZ.
Then art thou damn'd for keeping thy word with the Devil.
PRINCE.
Else he had been damn'd for cozening the Devil.
POINTZ.
But, my lads, my lads, to-morrow morning, by four o'clock,

early at Gads-hill! there are pilgrims gong to Canterbury
with rich
offerings, and traders riding to London with fat
purses: I have visards
for you all; you have horses for
yourselves: Gadshill lies to-night in
Rochester: I have bespoke supper to-morrow night in Eastcheap: we
may do it as secure as sleep. If you will go, I will stuff your purses full
of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and be hang'd.
FAL.
Hear ye, Yedward; if I tarry at home and go not, I'll hang you
for going.
POINTZ.
You will, chops?
FAL.
Hal, wilt thou make one?
PRINCE.
Who, I rob? I a thief? not I, by my faith.
FAL.
There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in thee,
nor thou camest not of the blood royal, if thou darest not stand for ten
shillings.
PRINCE.
Well, then, once in my days I'll be a madcap.
FAL.
Why, that's well said.
PRINCE.
Well, come what will, I'll tarry at home.
FAL.
By the Lord, I'll be a traitor, then, when thou art king.
PRINCE.
I care not.

POINTZ.
Sir John, I pr'ythee, leave the Prince and me alone: I will lay him down
such reasons for this adventure, that he shall go.
FAL.
Well, God give thee the spirit of persuasion, and him the ears
of profiting, that what thou speakest may move, and what he hears may
be believed, that the true Prince may, for recreationsake, prove a false
thief; for the poor abuses of the time want
countenance. Farewell; you
shall find me in Eastcheap.
PRINCE.
Farewell, thou latter Spring! farewell, All-hallown
Summer!
[Exit Falstaff.]
POINTZ.
Now, my good sweet honey-lord, ride with us to-morrow:
I
have a jest to execute that I cannot manage alone. Falstaff, Bardolph,
Peto, and Gadshill, shall rob those men that we have already waylaid:
yourself and I will not be there; and when they have the booty, if you
and I do not rob them, cut this head off from my