Keziah Coffin | Page 9

threshold, arms akimbo and lips set tight,
stood Lavinia Pepper. Her brother's knees gave way; in their collapse
they struck the chair back; the rickety leg wabbled. Kyan grasped at the

pipe to save himself and, the next moment, chair, sections of stovepipe,
and Mr. Pepper disappeared with a mighty crash behind the high-boy.
A cloud of soot arose and obscured the view.
Keziah, too indignant even to laugh, glared at the wreck. In the
doorway of the kitchen Grace Van Horne, hammer in hand, leaned
against the jamb, her handkerchief at her mouth and tears in her eyes.
Lavinia, majestic and rigid, dominated the scene. From behind the
high-boy came coughs, sneezes, and emphatic ejaculations.
Miss Pepper was the first to speak.
"Abishai Pepper," she commanded, "come out of that this minute."
Her answer was a tremendous sneeze. Then from the dusky cloud by
the wall sounded a voice feebly protesting.
"Now, Laviny," began poor Kyan, "I never in my life--"
"Do you hear me? Come out of that!"
There was a sound of scrambling. More soot floated in the air. Then
around the corner of the high-boy appeared Mr. Pepper, crawling on his
hands and knees. His hair was streaked with black; his shirt front and
collar and shirt sleeves were spotted and smeared with black; and from
his blackened cheeks his red whiskers flamed like the last glowing
embers in a fire-scarred ruin.
"Laviny," he panted, "I never was so surprised and upsot in all my life
afore."
This was too much for Grace. She collapsed in a chair and laughed
hysterically. Even the wrathful Keziah smiled. But Lavinia did not
smile. For that matter, neither did her brother.
"Hum!" sneered Miss Pepper. "Upsot! Yes, I see you're upsot. Get up,
and try to look as much like a Christian as you can!"
Kyan rose from his knees to his feet and rubbed his back. He glanced

reproachfully at Grace, then fearfully at his sister.
"I was just tryin' to help Keziah take down her stovepipe," he explained.
"You see, she didn't have no man to--"
"Yes, I see. Well, I judge you got it down. Now you go out to the sink
and wash your face. Heavens and earth! Look at them clothes!"
"I do hope you didn't hurt yourself, Abishai," said the sympathetic
Keziah. Then, as remembrance of what had led to the upset came to her,
she added: "Though I will say 'twas your own fault and nobody else's."
Lavinia whirled on her.
"His own fault, was it?" she repeated, her voice shrill and trembling.
"Thank you very much, marm. I cal'late 'twas his own fault comin' here,
too, wa'n't it? Nobody led him on, I s'pose. Nobody put him up to
riggin' out in his best bib and tucker and sneakin' here the minute I was
out of the house. No, nobody did! Of COURSE not!"
"No, nobody did," said Keziah briskly. "And you may know what
you're hintin' at, but I don't."
"Dear me! Ain't we innocent! We've got plenty of money, WE have.
Widowers with property ain't no attraction to US. Everybody knows
that--oh, yes! And they never talk of such a thing--oh, no! Folks don't
say that--that-- Well," with a snarl in the direction of the kitchen, "are
you anywheres nigh clean yet? Get your coat and hat on and come
home with me."
She jerked her brother into the blue coat, jammed the tall hat down
upon his head, and, seizing him by the arm, stalked to the door.
"Good day, marm," she said. "I do hope the next widower you get to
take down your stovepipe--yes, indeed! ha! ha!--I hope you'll have
better luck with him. Though I don't know who 'twould be; there ain't
no more idiots in town that I know of. Good day, and thank you kindly
for your attentions to our family."

She pulled the door open and was on the step; but Mrs. Coffin did not
intend to let her go in just that way.
"Laviny Pepper," she declared, her eyes snapping, "I don't know what
you're talkin' about, but if you dare to mean that I want any of your
money, or your brother's money, you're mistaken--'cause I don't. And I
don't want your brother either--Lord help him, poor thing! And I tell
you right now that there's nobody that does; though some kind-hearted
folks have said 'twould be a Christian act to poison him, so's to put him
out of his misery. There! Good mornin' to you."
She slammed the door. Lavinia was speechless. As for her brother, but
one remark of his reached Grace, who was watching from the window.
"Laviny," pleaded Kyan, "just let me explain."
At nine o'clock that night he was still "explaining."
Keziah turned from the door she had