Kept in the Dark | Page 6

much quicker than a woman
of twenty. At any rate I'm off to-morrow."
There was something in the tone of all this which thoroughly confirmed
her in her purpose. There should come an end to him of his thraldom.
This should not be, by many, the last of his visits to Goodwood. He
should never again have to complain of the trouble given to him by her
company. She sat silent, turning it all over in her mind, and struggling
to think how she might best get her mother out of the room. She must
do it instantly;--now at once. She was perfectly resolved that he should
not leave that house an engaged man. But she did not see her direct way
to the commencement of the difficult conversation. "Mrs. Holt," said
Sir Francis, "don't you think a little absence will be best for both of us,
before we begin the perilous voyage of matrimony together?"
"I am sure I don't know," said poor Mrs. Holt.
"There can't be a doubt about it," continued the lover. "I have become
so stupid, that I hardly know how to put one foot before the other, and
Cecilia is so majestical that her dignity is growing to be almost
tedious."
"Mamma," said Cecilia after a pause, "as Sir Francis is going
to-morrow, would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes? There
is something which I have to say to him."

"Oh, certainly, my dear," said Mrs. Holt, as she got up and left the
room.
Now had come the moment, the difficult moment in which Cecilia Holt
had to remodel for herself the course of her future life. For the last
month or two she had been the affianced bride of a baronet, and of a
man of fashion. All Exeter had known her as the future Lady Geraldine.
And, more than that, she had learned to regard herself as the owner of
the man, and of his future home. Her imagination had been active in
drawing pictures for herself of the life she was to live,--pictures which
for a time had been rosy-hued. But whatever the tints may have been,
and how far the bright colours may have become dimmed, it had been
as Lady Geraldine, and not as Cecilia Holt that she had looked in the
glass which had shown to herself her future career. Now, within the last
four-and-twenty hours,--for the last crowning purpose of her resolution
was hardly of longer date,--she had determined to alter it all. But he as
yet did not know it. He still regarded her as his affianced bride. Now
had come the moment in which the truth must be told to him.
As soon as her mother left the room, she got up from her seat, as did
also her lover. He, as soon as the door was closed, at once attempted to
put his arm round the girl's waist, as was his undoubted privilege. She
with the gentlest possible motion rejected his embrace, and contrived to
stand at a little distance from him. But she said nothing. The subject to
be discussed was so difficult that words would not come to her
assistance. Then he lent her his aid. "You do not mean that you're in a
tiff because of what I said just now. Of course it is better that we should
not be together for the few days before our marriage."
"I do not think that I am in a tiff, Sir Francis. I hope I am not, because
what I have to say is too serious for ill-humour." Then she paused.
"What I have got to say is of some importance;--of very great
importance. Sir Francis Geraldine, I feel that I have to ask you to
forgive me."
"What on earth is the matter?"
"You may well ask. And, indeed, I do not know how to excuse myself.

Your friends will say that I am frivolous, and vain, and discontented."
"What the mischief is it all about?" he demanded with an angry voice.
She knew she had not as yet told him. She could perceive that he had
not gathered from her first words any inkling of the truth; and yet she
did not know how to tell him. If it were once told she could, she
thought, defend herself. But the difficulty was to find the words by
which she could let him know what was her intention. "Sir Francis, I
fear that we have misunderstood each other."
"How misunderstood? Why Sir Francis? Am I to understand that you
want to quarrel with me because I am going away? If so speak it out. I
shall go just the same."
"Your going has no bearing upon my present purpose. I had made up
my mind before I had heard