Keeping up with Lizzie | Page 4

'em. They looked as if they thought that now at last they
were keepin' up with Lizzie. Their homes were empty most o' the time.
The reading-lamp was never lighted. There was no season o' social
converse. Every merchant but Eph Hill grew fat an' round, an'
complained of indigestion an' sick-headache. Sam looked like a moored
balloon. Seemed so their morals grew fat an' flabby an' shif'less an' in
need of exercise. Their morals travelled too, but they travelled from
mouth to mouth, as ye might say, an' very fast. More'n half of 'em give
up church an' went off on the country roads every Sunday. All along
the pike from Pointview to Jerusalem Corners ye could see where
they'd laid humbly on their backs in the dust, prayin' to a new god an'
tryin' to soften his heart with oil or open the gates o' mercy with a
monkey-wrench.
"Bill came into my shop one day an' looked as if he hadn't a friend in
the world. He wanted to borrow some money.
"'Money!' I says. 'What makes ye think I've got money?'
"'Because ye ain't got any automobile,' he says, laughin'.
"'No,' I says. 'You bought one, an' that was all I could afford,'
"It never touched him. He went on as dry as a duck in a shower. 'You're
one o' the few sensible men in this village. You live within yer means,
an' you ought to have money if ye ain't.'
"'I've got a little, but I don't see why you should have it,' I says. 'You
want me to do all the savin' for both of us.'
"'It costs so much to live I can't save a cent,' he says. 'You know I've

got a boy in college, an' it costs fearful. I told my boy the other day
how I worked my way through school an' lived on a dollar a week in a
little room an' did my own washin'. He says to me, "Well, Governor,
you forget that I have a social position to maintain."'
"'He's right,' I says. 'You can't expect him to belong to the varsity crew
an' the Dickey an' the Hasty-Puddin' Club an' dress an' behave like the
son of an ordinary grocer in Pointview, Connecticut. Ye can't live on
nuts an' raisins an' be decent in such a position. Looks to me as if it
would require the combined incomes o' the grocer an' his lawyer to
maintain it. His position is likely to be hard on your disposition. He's
tryin' to keep up with Lizzie--that's what's the matter,'
"For a moment Bill looked like a lost dog. I told him how Grant an'
Thomas stood on a hilltop one day an' saw their men bein' mowed
down like grass, an' by-an'-by Thomas says to Grant, 'Wal, General,
we'll have to move back a little; it's too hot for the boys here.'
"'I'm afraid your boy's position is kind of uncomf'table,' I says.
"'I'll win out,' he says. 'My boy will marry an' settle down in a year or
so, then he'll begin to help me.'
"'But you may be killed off before then,' I says.
"'If my friends 'll stand by me I'll pull through,' says he.
"'But your friends have their own families to stand by,' I says.
"'Look here, Mr. Potter,' says he. 'You've no such expense as I have.
You're able to help me, an' you ought to. I've got a note comin' due
tomorrow an' no money to pay it with.'
"'Renew it an' then retrench,' I says. 'Cut down your expenses an' your
prices.'
"'Can't,' says he. 'It costs too much to live. What 'll I do ?'
"'You ought to die,' I says, very mad.

"'I can't,' says he.
"'Why not?'
"'It costs so much to die,' he says. 'Why, it takes a thousan' dollars to
give a man a decent funeral these days.'
"'Wal,' I says, 'a man that can't afford either to live or die excites my
sympathy an' my caution. You've taxed the community for yer luxuries,
an' now ye want to tax me for yer notes. It's unjust discrimination. It
gives me a kind of a lonesome feelin'. You tell your boy Dan to come
an' see me. He needs advice more than you need money, an' I've got a
full line of it.'
"Bill went away richer by a check for a few hundred dollars. Oh, I
always know when I'm losin' money! I'm not like other citizens o'
Pointview.
"Dan came to see me the next Saturday night. He was a big, blue-eyed,
handsome, good-natured boy, an' dressed like the son of a millionaire. I
brought him here to the office, an' he sat down beside me.
"'Dan,' I says, 'what are your plans for