Jubilation, U.S.A. | Page 3

up," Okie mumbled, his attention still wrapped around the crypterpreter. "Say, what is this gadget anyway?"
"It is a cryp-terp-reter," Toryl beamed with pride. "It en-ables us to un-der-stand and speak your lan-guage."
"Aw, go on!" Okie managed a fainthearted grin, uncertain of whether his leg was being pulled. "Come on now, tell me what it is."
"But I have just told you, sir."
The barkeep cursed under his breath. "Two gin rickeys, did you say?"
"Yes."
Okie brought the drinks.
Sartan smiled broadly. "Thank you ex-ceed-ing-ly."
"That'll be two-fifty."
Toryl raised his glass as though making a toast. "Two-fif-ty!" he repeated.
Okie caught his arm and brought the glass down.
"Two-fifty!" the barkeep said with grim insistence.
Sartan pursed his lips comprehendingly. He removed a large pentagonal piece of metal from his pocket and gave it to Okie.
Okie took the piece between his fingers, examined it and frowned. "I give up. What is it?"
Sartan had to glance at Toryl for an answer. Toryl threw a switch on the crypterpreter.
"Money," Toryl silently advised him.
"Money," said Sartan to Okie.
"You guys hold on and don't drink up yet," growled the barkeep. He then yelled in the direction of the blackjack table. "Hey, Nugget! Get on over here, I need you!!"
A wiry little man with a full, unkempt beard, hustled over to the bar. "Nugget McDermott at yer service, Okie! What's yer pleasure?" he asked with a sunny smile.
"Take a look at this." Okie handed him the piece of metal.
The old prospector turned it over in his hands, bit it and then held it in his palm as though to judge its weight. His expert opinion was, "It's gold, Okie," and was uttered without a shred of modesty.
"Are you sure?"
The old-timer was highly insulted. "Am I sure!! Why you lop-eared, sun-stroked jackass, of course I'm sure!!! Nugget McDermott is drawed to gold like nails to a magnet! Why when this here town was nothin' but a patch of cactus--"
"All right, all right," Okie waved him off, "don't get your gander up! Go on back to the blackjack table and tell Sam to give you a drink on the house."
"Much obliged, Okie, much obliged," said Nugget, doffing his hat and trotting back to the blackjack table.
The barkeep's face was pure sunshine when he turned to the aliens again. "Gentlemen, with this kind of a substitute you don't need money in my place. Drink up!"
"Thank you ex-ceed-ing-ly," said Sartan.
Okie arbitrarily judged the gold piece to be worth ten dollars. "The management invites you to try your luck, gentlemen. Go on give it a whirl."
Toryl and Sartan wore blank expressions as Okie slapped seven dollars and fifty cents change on the bar--four silver dollars, four half-dollars and six quarters.
"Don't be bashful, gentlemen. Okie's machines are friendly to one and all," said the barkeep.
* * * * *
Toryl removed the change and gave his companion two silver dollars, two half-dollars and three quarters.
"What is the purpose of the machines?" thought Sartan as they approached the one-armed bandits.
"I suppose that is what the one called Okie wishes us to learn."
"Perhaps it is some type of registration machine."
"It is doubtful. The gentleman you disturbed has been at the same machine since we arrived."
Sartan gripped the handle of a vacant machine. "Do you think it might be a kind of intelligence test?"
In lieu of an answer Toryl focused his attention on a small card, above the machine, which gave the winning combinations.
"There is that term again."
"What term?"
"Gambling." Toryl pointed to a line on the card warning minors not to gamble. A look of perplexity fell upon his face. "I am no longer sure the term has anything to do with fraternizing," he observed mentally.
"Let us find out."
Sartan placed a quarter in the coin slot. The three little wheels went spinning. Cherry. Lemon. Lemon.
Nothing.
Toryl and Sartan looked at each other, their faces blanker than ever.
"Try it again."
Sartan disposed of another quarter. They waited. Lemon. Plum. Plum.
Nothing.
Toryl inspected the machine from every angle, like a man on the outside trying to figure a way in. "Let me try it."
He put a quarter in the slot.
Three lemons.
"It isn't very interesting, is it?" thought Sartan.
"Why don't we try the larger pieces?"
"A splendid idea, Brother."
The larger coins did not fit. Toryl proceeded to report this sad state of affairs to Okie and was amazed when, for the eight large coins, Okie rewarded him with twenty-four smaller ones. He went back to his companion at the one-armed bandit.
They then dropped twenty consecutive quarters into the appropriately named machine without getting so much as a single quarter in return.
"It is puzzling, is it not, Brother?"
"Yes, Sartan. From all indications it would seem to be a machine totally without purpose."
"It does consume money."
"But why would one build a machine whose sole purpose is to consume money?"
Sartan gave it some hard thought. "I don't know!"
"Remarkable!" Toryl concluded. "But nothing is done