Joseph Andrews, vol 2 | Page 9

himself to meditation.
The boy staying longer than seemed to be necessary, Joseph, who with
Fanny was now returned to the parson, expressed some apprehensions
that the gentleman's steward had locked up his purse too. To which
Adams answered, "It might very possibly be, and he should wonder at
no liberties which the devil might put into the head of a wicked servant
to take with so worthy a master;" but added, "that, as the sum was so
small, so noble a gentleman would be easily able to procure it in the
parish, though he had it not in his own pocket. Indeed," says he, "if it
was four or five guineas, or any such large quantity of money, it might
be a different matter."
They were now sat down to breakfast over some toast and ale, when the
boy returned and informed them that the gentleman was not at home.
"Very well!" cries Adams; "but why, child, did you not stay till his
return? Go back again, my good boy, and wait for his coming home; he
cannot be gone far, as his horses are all sick; and besides, he had no

intention to go abroad, for he invited us to spend this day and tomorrow
at his house. Therefore go back, child, and tarry till his return home."
The messenger departed, and was back again with great expedition,
bringing an account that the gentleman was gone a long journey, and
would not be at home again this month. At these words Adams seemed
greatly confounded, saying, "This must be a sudden accident, as the
sickness or death of a relation or some such unforeseen misfortune;"
and then, turning to Joseph, cried, "I wish you had reminded me to have
borrowed this money last night." Joseph, smiling, answered, "He was
very much deceived if the gentleman would not have found some
excuse to avoid lending it.--I own," says he, "I was never much pleased
with his professing so much kindness for you at first sight; for I have
heard the gentlemen of our cloth in London tell many such stories of
their masters. But when the boy brought the message back of his not
being at home, I presently knew what would follow; for, whenever a
man of fashion doth not care to fulfil his promises, the custom is to
order his servants that he will never be at home to the person so
promised. In London they call it denying him. I have myself denied Sir
Thomas Booby above a hundred times, and when the man hath danced
attendance for about a month or sometimes longer, he is acquainted in
the end that the gentleman is gone out of town and could do nothing in
the business."--"Good Lord!" says Adams, "what wickedness is there in
the Christian world! I profess almost equal to what I have read of the
heathens. But surely, Joseph, your suspicions of this gentleman must be
unjust, for what a silly fellow must he be who would do the devil's
work for nothing! and canst thou tell me any interest he could possibly
propose to himself by deceiving us in his professions?"--"It is not for
me," answered Joseph, "to give reasons for what men do, to a
gentleman of your learning."--"You say right," quoth Adams;
"knowledge of men is only to be learned from books; Plato and Seneca
for that; and those are authors, I am afraid, child, you never
read."--"Not I, sir, truly," answered Joseph; "all I know is, it is a maxim
among the gentlemen of our cloth, that those masters who promise the
most perform the least; and I have often heard them say they have
found the largest vails in those families where they were not promised
any. But, sir, instead of considering any farther these matters, it would
be our wisest way to contrive some method of getting out of this house;

for the generous gentleman, instead of doing us any service, hath left us
the whole reckoning to pay." Adams was going to answer, when their
host came in, and, with a kind of jeering smile, said, "Well, masters!
the squire hath not sent his horses for you yet. Laud help me! how
easily some folks make promises!"--"How!" says Adams; "have you
ever known him do anything of this kind before?"--"Ay! marry have I,"
answered the host: "it is no business of mine, you know, sir, to say
anything to a gentleman to his face; but now he is not here, I will assure
you, he hath not his fellow within the three next market-towns. I own I
could not help laughing when I heard him offer you the living, for
thereby hangs a good jest. I thought he would have offered you my
house next, for one is no