John Ingerfield | Page 2

Jerome K. Jerome
them, as I did, more years ago than I care to
recollect.
But lest you do not choose to go to all this trouble, or lest the old men
who could tell it you have grown tired of all talk, and are not to be
roused ever again into the telling of tales, and you yet wish for the story,
I will here set it down for you.
But I cannot recount it to you as they told it to me, for to me it was only
a tale that I heard and remembered, thinking to tell it again for profit,
while to them it was a thing that had been, and the threads of it were
interwoven with the woof of their own life. As they talked, faces that I
did not see passed by among the crowd and turned and looked at them,
and voices that I did not hear spoke to them below the clamour of the
street, so that through their thin piping voices there quivered the deep
music of life and death, and my tale must be to theirs but as a gossip's
chatter to the story of him whose breast has felt the press of battle.
* * * * *
John Ingerfield, oil and tallow refiner, of Lavender Wharf, Limehouse,
comes of a hard-headed, hard-fisted stock. The first of the race that the
eye of Record, piercing the deepening mists upon the centuries behind
her, is able to discern with any clearness is a long-haired, sea-bronzed
personage, whom men call variously Inge or Unger. Out of the wild
North Sea he has come. Record observes him, one of a small, fierce
group, standing on the sands of desolate Northumbria, staring landward,
his worldly wealth upon his back. This consists of a two-handed
battle-axe, value perhaps some forty stycas in the currency of the time.
A careful man, with business capabilities, may, however, manipulate a

small capital to great advantage. In what would appear, to those
accustomed to our slow modern methods, an incredibly short space of
time, Inge's two-handed battle-axe has developed into wide lands and
many head of cattle; which latter continue to multiply with a rapidity
beyond the dreams of present- day breeders. Inge's descendants would
seem to have inherited the genius of their ancestor, for they prosper and
their worldly goods increase. They are a money-making race. In all
times, out of all things, by all means, they make money. They fight for
money, marry for money, live for money, are ready to die for money.
In the days when the most saleable and the highest priced article in the
markets of Europe was a strong arm and a cool head, then each
Ingerfield (as "Inge," long rooted in Yorkshire soil, had grown or been
corrupted to) was a soldier of fortune, and offered his strong arm and
his cool head to the highest bidder. They fought for their price, and
they took good care that they obtained their price; but, the price settled,
they fought well, for they were staunch men and true, according to their
lights, though these lights may have been placed somewhat low down,
near the earth.
Then followed the days when the chief riches of the world lay tossed
for daring hands to grasp upon the bosom of the sea, and the sleeping
spirit of the old Norse Rover stirred in their veins, and the lilt of a wild
sea- song they had never heard kept ringing in their ears; and they built
them ships and sailed for the Spanish Main, and won much wealth, as
was their wont.
Later on, when Civilisation began to lay down and enforce sterner rules
for the game of life, and peaceful methods promised to prove more
profitable than violent, the Ingerfields became traders and merchants of
grave mien and sober life; for their ambition from generation to
generation remains ever the same, their various callings being but
means to an end.
A hard, stern race of men they would seem to have been, but just--so
far as they understood justice. They have the reputation of having been
good husbands, fathers, and masters; but one cannot help thinking of
them as more respected than loved.

They were men to exact the uttermost farthing due to them, yet not
without a sense of the thing due from them, their own duty and
responsibility--nay, not altogether without their moments of heroism,
which is the duty of great men. History relates how a certain Captain
Ingerfield, returning with much treasure from the West Indies--how
acquired it were, perhaps, best not to inquire too closely--is overhauled
upon the high seas by King's frigate. Captain of King's frigate sends
polite message to Captain Ingerfield requesting him to be so kind as to
promptly hand over a
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