Jimgrim and Allahs Peace

Jimgrim and Allah's Peace, by
Talbot Mundy

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Title: Jimgrim and Allah's Peace
Author: Talbot Mundy
Release Date: February 28, 2004 [EBook #11357]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JIMGRIM
AND ALLAH'S PEACE ***

JIMGRIM AND ALLAH'S PEACE
by Talbot Mundy

To Jimgrim: whose real name, rank, and military distinctions, I
promised never to make public.

Contents
I. "Look for a man named Grim." II. "No objection; Only a stipulation."
III. "Do whatever the leader of the escort tells you." IV. "I am willing
to use all means--all methods." V. "D'you mind if I use you?" VI. "That
man will repay study." VII. "Who gives orders to me?" VIII. "He will
say next that it was he who set the stars in the sky over El-Kerak, and
makes the moon rise!" IX. "Feet downwards, too afraid to yell"-- X.
"Money doesn't weigh much!" XI. "And the rest of the acts of
Ahaziah--" XII. "You know you'll get scuppered if you're found out!"
XIII. "You may now be unsafe and an outlaw and enjoy yourself!" XIV.
"Windy bellies without hearts in them." XV. "I'll have nothing to do
with it!" XVI. "The enemy is nearly always useful if you leave him free
to make mistakes." XVII. "Poor old Scharnhoff's in the soup." XVIII.
"But we're ready for them." XIX. "Dead or Alive, Sahib." XX. "All
men are equal in the dark." ------------
Chapter One
"Look for a man named Grim."
There is a beautiful belief that journalists may do exactly as they please,
and whenever they please. Pleasure with violet eyes was in Chicago.
My passport describes me as a journalist. My employer said: "Go to
Jerusalem." I went, that was in 1920.
I had been there a couple of times before the World War, when the
Turks were in full control. So I knew about the bedbugs and the stench
of the citadel moat; the pre-war price of camels; enough Arabic to
misunderstand it when spoken fluently, and enough of the Old
Testament and the Koran to guess at Arabian motives, which are
important, whereas words are usually such stuff as lies are made of.
El Kudz, as Arabs call Jerusalem, is, from a certain distance, as they
also call it, shellabi kabir. Extremely beautiful. Beautiful upon a
mountain. El Kudz means The City, and in a certain sense it is that, to
unnumbered millions of people. Ludicrous, uproarious, dignified, pious,
sinful, naively confidential, secretive, altruistic, realistic. Hoary-ancient

and ultra-modern. Very, very proud of its name Jerusalem, which
means City of Peace. Full to the brim with the malice of certainly fifty
religions, fifty races, and five hundred thousand curious political
chicaneries disguised as plans to save our souls from hell and fill some
fellow's purse. The jails are full.
"Look for a man named Grim," said my employer. "James Schuyler
Grim, American, aged thirty-four or so. I've heard he knows the ropes."
The ropes, when I was in Jerusalem before the war, were principally
used for hanging people at the Jaffa Gate, after they had been well
beaten on the soles of their feet to compel them to tell where their
money was hidden. The Turks entirely understood the arts of
suppression and extortion, which they defined as government. The
British, on the other hand, subject their normal human impulse to be
greedy, and their educated craving to be gentlemanly white man's
burden-bearers, to a process of compromise. Perhaps that isn't
government. But it works. They even carry compromise to the point of
not hanging even their critics if they can possibly avoid doing it. They
had not yet, but they were about to receive a brand-new mandate from a
brand-new League of Nations, awkwardly qualified by Mr. Balfour's
post-Armistice promise to the Zionists to give the country to the Jews,
and by a war-time promise, in which the French had joined, to create an
Arab kingdom for the Arabs.
So there was lots of compromising being done, and hell to pay, with no
one paying, except, of course, the guests in the hotels, at New York
prices. The Zionist Jews were arriving in droves. The Arabs, who
owned most of the land, were threatening to cut all the Jews' throats as
soon as they could first get all their money. Feisal, a descendant of the
Prophet, who had fought gloriously against the Turks, was romantically
getting ready in Damascus to be crowned King of Syria.