Jill the Reckless | Page 3

from Dover to London. It was like Drake playing bowls
with the Spanish Armada in sight.
"I wish I had your nerve!" he said awed. "What I should be feeling, if I
were in your place and had to meet your mater after telling her that I
was engaged to marry a girl she had never seen, I don't know. I'd rather
face a wounded tiger!"
"Idiot!" said Derek placidly.

"Not," pursued Freddie, "that I mean to say anything in the least
derogatory and so forth to your jolly old mater, if you understand me,
but the fact remains she scares me pallid. Always has, ever since the
first time I went to stay at your place when I was a kid. I can still
remember catching her eye the morning I happened by pure chance to
bung an apple through her bedroom window, meaning to let a cat on
the sill below have it in the short ribs. She was at least thirty feet away,
but, by Jove, it stopped me like a bullet!"
"Push the bell, old man, will you? I want some more toast."
Freddie did as he was requested, with growing admiration.
"The condemned man made an excellent breakfast," he murmured.
"More toast, Barker," he added, as that admirable servitor opened the
door. "Gallant! That's what I call it. Gallant!"
Derek tilted his chair back.
"Mother is sure to like Jill when she sees her," he said.
"When she sees her! Ah! But the trouble is, young feller-me-lad, that
she hasn't seen her! That's the weak spot in your case, old companion.
A month ago she didn't know of Jill's existence. Now, you know and I
know that Jill is one of the best and brightest. As far as we are
concerned, everything in the good old garden is lovely. Why, dash it,
Jill and I were children together. Sported side by side on the green, and
what not. I remember Jill, when she was twelve, turning the garden
hose on me and knocking about seventy-five per cent off the market
value of my best Sunday suit. That sort of thing forms a bond, you
know, and I've always felt that she was a corker. But your mater's got to
discover it for herself. It's a dashed pity, by Jove, that Jill hasn't a father
or a mother or something of that species to rally round just now. They
would form a gang. There's nothing like a gang! But she's only got that
old uncle of hers. A rummy bird. Met him?"
"Several times. I like him."

"Oh, he's a genial old buck all right. A very bonhomous lad. But you
hear some pretty queer stories about him if you get among people who
knew him in the old days. Even now I'm not so dashed sure I should
care to play cards with him. Young Threepwood was telling me only
the other day that the old boy took thirty quid off him at picquet as
clean as a whistle. And Jimmy Monroe, who's on the Stock Exchange,
says he's frightfully busy these times buying margins or whatever it is
chappies do down in the City. Margins. That's the word. Jimmy made
me buy some myself on a thing called Amalgamated Dyes. I don't
understand the procedure exactly, but Jimmy says it's a sound egg and
will do me a bit of good. What was I talking about? Oh, yes, old Selby.
There's no doubt he's quite a sportsman. But till you've got Jill well
established, you know, I shouldn't enlarge on him too much with the
mater."
"On the contrary," said Derek, "I shall mention him at the first
opportunity. He knew my father out in India."
"Did he, by Jove! Oh, well, that makes a difference."
Barker entered with the toast, and Derek resumed his breakfast.
"It may be a little bit awkward," he said, "at first, meeting mother. But
everything will be all right after five minutes."
"Absolutely! But, oh, boy! that first five minutes!" Freddie gazed
portentously through his eye-glass. Then he seemed to be undergoing
some internal struggle, for he gulped once or twice. "That first five
minutes!" he said, and paused again. A moment's silent
self-communion, and he went on with a rush. "I say, listen. Shall I
come along, too?"
"Come along?"
"To the station. With you."
"What on earth for?"

"To see you through the opening stages. Break the ice, and all that sort
of thing. Nothing like collecting a gang, you know. Moments when a
feller needs a friend and so forth. Say the word, and I'll buzz along and
lend my moral support."
Derek's heavy eyebrows closed together in an offended frown, and
seemed to darken his whole face. This unsolicited offer of assistance
hurt his dignity. He showed