Jerusalem | Page 6

ask her about it.
You know, father, you always said that the year I married, the house
was to have a fresh coat of red paint. That year I simply couldn't afford
it. By next year everything will be all right, I thought then.'"
The plowman walked along, his lips moving all the while. He actually
imagined that he saw before him the face of his father. "I shall have to
lay the whole case before the old man, frankly and clearly," he
remarked to himself, "so he can advise me."
"'Winter had come and gone, yet nothing was changed. I felt at times
that if Brita were to keep on being unhappy I might better give her up
and send her home. However, it was too late to think of that. Then, one
evening, early in May, we discovered that she had quietly slipped away.
We searched for her all through the night, and in the morning one of the
housemaids found her.'
"I find it hard now to continue, and take refuge in silence. Then father
exclaims: 'In God's name, she wasn't dead, was she?' 'No, not she,' I say,
and father notes the tremor in my voice. 'Was the child born?' asks
father. 'Yes,' I reply, 'and she had strangled it. It was lying dead beside
her.' 'But she couldn't have been in her right mind.' 'Oh, she knew well
enough what she vas about!' I say. 'She did it to get even with me for
forcing myself upon her. Still she would never have done this thing had
I married her. She said she had been thinking that since I did not want
my child honourably born, I should have no child.' Father is dumb with
grief, but by and by he says to me: 'Would you have been glad of the
child, little Ingmar?' 'Yes,' I answer. 'Poor boy! It's a shame that you
should have fallen in with a bad woman! She is in prison, of course,'
says father. 'She was sent up for three years.' 'And it's because of this
that no man will let you marry a daughter of his?' 'Yes, but I haven't
asked anyone, either.' 'And this is why you have no standing in the
parish?' 'They all think it ought not to have gone that way for Brita.
Folks say that if I had been a sensible man, like yourself, I would have
talked to her and found out what was troubling her.' 'It's not so easy for
a man to understand a bad woman!' says father. 'No, father, Brita was

not bad, but she was a proud one!' 'It comes to the same thing,' says
father.
"Now that father seems to side with me, I say: 'There are many who
think I should have managed it in such a way that no one would have
known but that the child was born dead.' 'Why shouldn't she take her
punishment?' says father. 'They say if this had happened in your time,
you would have made the servant who found her keep her tongue in her
head so that nothing could have leaked out.' 'And in that case would
you have married her?' 'Why then there would have been no need of my
marrying her. I would have sent her back to her parents in a week or so
and the banns annulled, on the grounds that she was not happy with us.'
'That's all very well, but no one can expect a young chap like you to
have an old man's head on him.' 'The whole parish thinks that I behaved
badly toward Brita.' 'She has done worse in bringing disgrace upon
honest folk.' 'But I made her take me.' 'She ought to be mighty glad of
it,' says father. 'But, father, don't you think it is my fault her being in
prison?' 'She put herself there, I'm thinking.' Then I get up and say very
slowly: 'So you don't think, father, that I have to do anything for her
when she comes out in the fall?' 'What should you do? Marry her?'
'That's just what I ought to do.' Father looks at me a moment, then asks:
'Do you love her?' 'No! She has killed my love.' Father closes his eyes
and begins to meditate. 'You see, father, I can't get away from this: that
I have brought misfortune upon some one.'
"The old man sits quite still and does not answer.
"'The last time I saw her was in the courtroom. Then she was so gentle,
and longed so for her child. Not one harsh word did she say against me.
She took all the blame to herself. Many in that courtroom were moved
to tears, and the judge himself had to swallow hard. He didn't give her