Jack of Both Sides | Page 8

ought to say 'took', not 'tooken'," corrected Toppin. He felt rather
cross, and disinclined to dwell on the subject of his wrongs.
"Ah, I am--what is your one word?--non-grammar-eesh?"
"No,--stupid," said Toppin.
"Uhéi!" This sorrowfully. Then, drawing nearer, "But no mind! I love
you--oh, yes, I love you a great well, Top-peen! Shall we--shall we
keess?"
Toppin shook his head decidedly, and jumped off the gate in a hurry.
"That's the second time since Sunday you've wanted to kiss, and I've
told you over and over again I hate it, I don't like it! I never want to kiss!
Now, do you understand?"
The March Hare was sadly afraid he did.
[Illustration]
"If you were an English boy you'd never think of asking such a thing,"
Toppin went on, tramping up and down as he talked. He really did not
want to be unkind to the Hare, but requests like this vexed him sorely.
"Don't you see, Harey, there are some people who will kiss me, and I
can't stop them--like Miss Turner, f'r instance." Miss Turner was the
matron. "And then there are some I've got to kiss, like aunts and people.
But one doesn't put in any extra, if one can help it. When I'm grown-up
I sha'n't have to kiss anybody, and that'll be jolly. I shall never, never
kiss at all, only shake hands or bow, like Escombe does."
"Top-peen, you did keess me once time, last week!" The Hare was

timidly reproachful now.
Toppin stood still and coloured.
"Yes, I did. Because you bovvered me to, and--and you'd jumped in
after me!"
"And shallent you--not ever--keess me once time more?"
"Oh--well--look here! Perhaps when it's your birthday, if we get
somewhere quite secret, where nobody can possibly see us, I--I'll let
you have one--a quick one!"
"T-thanks you!" said the grateful Hare.
"It's 'thanks', or else 'thank you'," corrected Toppin.
The Hare took no notice. He only tucked his arm affectionately into
Toppin's, knowing that he was keeping within his rights in doing so.
Toppin could say nothing. Arm-in-arm is quite correct and English!
"I have som-ting to say. Zat Armitage--he did not ought to be gone
chasing paper. He is bad! I hate him, don' like him!"
"Why?" enquired Toppin, with wide-open eyes.
"Be-cause he try to drown you. I am--what is it?--to re-venge it!"
"What awful rot you talk!" said Toppin. "He only did what I told him,
same as you would have done."
"Oh no, he had ver' wickedness. Ever'body say he had. I am telling
many--one after one, by secret! And he is a debboy. Zey are more
angry for zat. So much better!"
"Rubbish!" cried Toppin impatiently. "You've no business to tell
anyone anything. And you're looking fierce and ugly, Hare. Do put
Armitage out of your head, and come and have a see-saw!"

The chase, meanwhile, had opened well. The track was unmistakable to
begin with, and it led right away from the town into the free country.
The pack of hounds spun gaily along at full tilt, and many a machine
was travelling at a pace it had not known for years. Every now and then
there was a small collision, ending generally in a tumble; but if anyone
was hurt, he kept it to himself, for all remounted and rode on, and
nobody waited behind to make enquiries.
Of course there were any amount of false alarms, shouts and shrieks,
wavings and ringings, and Simmons's toot-toot sometimes went
unheard in the hubbub. Mr. Anderson grew quite boyishly excited, and
kept bawling, "Come on, you fellows, come on! Buck up! We'll run
them down yet!" And it is probable that Mr. West might have had a
word to say had he seen the pace at which the willing hounds obeyed.
After one of the collisions above-mentioned, Grey, who was not a good
rider, and happened to be the last of the pack, came upon Cadbury,
dismounted, by the roadside.
"What's up?" he cried, as he swayed laboriously past.
"Oh, that you, Grey? Get down, there's a good fellow, and hold my bike
a jiffey. I'll tow you up the next hill, if you will. Thanks so much! I had
a spill just now, and my handlebar's got slewed round, and I can't keep
it straight and right it at the same time."
The spanner had to be hunted out, the screw loosened, and the bar
straightened; and thus a little time was occupied.
"Bother it! They're out of sight!" cried Cadbury when both were once
more ready to mount. "I suppose we shall see Andy tooling back soon,
to whip in the lazy pups! Never mind, I'll keep you company. Don't you
burst your wind! We'll take it quietly."
"How they do yell! They've lost the trail," remarked Grey. "Hi!