J D Fuentes - Gut Impact | Page 3

face-to-face human communication isn’t like reading
a book or a transcript of an audio tape. There are many, many little pieces
which are flashed and transmitted back and forth which have little to do
with the words being used. It’s mastering these subtle (and not-so-subtle)
nuances that will give your communication its greatest possible effect.
So that you can learn to master them, here, then are some of the
elements of human communication:
facial expression;
posture and muscle tone;
bodily movements and gestures;
the pitch, tempo, resonance, and melody of your voice; and,
lastly,
the literal meaning of what you say.
Note that what you say is only a fraction of all that you communicate.
Therefore, the way you look and sound and move can either undermine
your words, or add to their power enormously.
Henceforth, we'll refer to the sum total of your various
communications as Output.
Before showing you how to look and sound and move in a way
that rachets up your emotional impact, you’re going to learn more about
how to grab hold of someone’s attention, so that what you say rivets
them, and your words make your listener feel intensely and imagine
richly.
We call it the Verbal Match.

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6. Verbal Matching, or How to Make Someone Listen and Instinctively
Agree
VERBAL MATCHING
Saying only things that your listener can verify with his or her
senses, and/or things which he/she believes to be true.
By telling O only those things which match O's sensory
perceptions and abstract beliefs, O is set at ease, reassured that you
understand his/her needs. After you offer a long series of statements
which, for O, are true, whatever you say next will seem truer, more
compelling, and more inspiring. After you have extensively Verbally
Matched someone, when you then describe how good it can feel to ski or
solve a math problem, O will more easily try out the good feeling you are
indirectly suggesting he/she should feel.
Verbal Matching is a method of
a) grabbing your listener’s attention,
b) winning your listener’s trust and goodwill, and
c) causing your listener to become more emotionally involved and
responsive to what is being said.
Verbal Matching, performed well, causes your listener to open his/her
imagination and emotions, so that what you say after you match is felt as
more significant, more persuasive, and more compelling than it would be
otherwise.
The message that your Verbal Matching leads up to we call the
Punchline (or just the Punch).
We’ll explain Verbal Matching’s whys and wherefores later, but
for now, we’re going to lay out the basics, so you can use it as fast as
possible.
Verbal Matching: an Outline
1)Figure out what your listener must physically feel, see, hear, taste,
smell, know, or believe.
2)Refer to several of these inescapable, irrefutable truths, one after
another.
3)Notice when your listener becomes intensely focused or very relaxed.
This means that your listener’s imagination and instincts are now
engaged and more open to internally reconstructing the sights, sounds,

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sensations, flavors, fragrances, thoughts, and emotions you choose to
describe.
4)Describe in detail the sensations, feelings, and thoughts you want your
listener to begin having.
Empirical Verbal Matching consists of verbally stating what your listener
can already see, hear, or tactilely feel.
Abstract Verbal Matching consists of verbally stating what your listener
already believes to be true.
Making statements which are accurate
according to your listener’s perceptions or beliefs
increases your listener’s receptivity to further suggestions.

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Results of Matching vs. Mismatching Your Listener’s
Beliefs and Perceptions
MATCHING vs. MISMATCHING
NEUTRAL STARTING POINT, BEFORE MATCHING ORMISMATCHING
The symbols indicate ideas/beliefs.
The gray bar indicates the listener’s resistance.
1. MATCHINGMatching your listener’s beliefdiminishes resistance.
1. MISMATCHINGContradicting your listener’sbelief increases resistance.

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Results of Matching vs. Mismatching Your Listener’s
Beliefs and Perceptions (cont’d)
2. MATCHING 2. MISMATCHING
3. MATCHING 3. MISMATCHING

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7. Verbal Matching, Step-by-Step
1)Scan the environment. What things can O, the person you’re
communicating with, definitely see and feel and hear? What
things can you say about the environment that O ‘s senses of
sight and hearing and touch will immediately confirm as true?
For now, leave out opinions, yours and those of the other
person.
Pretend that you are sitting at a table with another
person, O. A chandelier hangs nearby, the table is covered by a
white cloth, the dishes are gleaming spectacularly, and O is
looking comfortable and relaxed. Perhaps this comes from the
fact that you know O is bound to feel pretty good about the
proposal you’re going to be pitching after the meal. Your
mutual friend Jack put the two of you in touch, and the contract
and proposal now rest on the table. O