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Copyright 1999, J. D. Fuentes www.sexualkey.com
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You can learn to speak straight to someone’s gut instincts, so that
what you say has immediate and lasting impact.
Power. Money. Sex.
If you’re like most people, when you see or hear words like
those above, you get a little bit of a jolt.
But saying words like power and money and sex isn’t the only
way to have emotional impact on other people.
In fact, when someone knows how to use the other dimensions
of human communication—how to coordinate the way he or she talks
with what he or she says—that person can grab your attention just as
securely as a bouncer pins your arms behind your back.
And not just grab your attention—someone who knows how to
speak to your gut instincts, the emotional part of your mind, can make
you want what you didn’t realize you wanted, and open your mind to
possibilities you didn’t know you could have.
This book is about teaching you to develop that power. It’s
about teaching you to reach beneath people’s “reasons,” so that you can
guide and drive their gut responses, open and inflame their imaginations.
It’s about teaching you how to lead, inspire, motivate, and connect.
More to the point, this is not a work of earnest recommendations
or vague theories. It’s a how-to manual, filled with specific skills which
you can employ in real-life situations, in order to attain concrete ends.
This book will teach you the following:
· How to make someone focus intently on what you say
· How to make someone feel any emotion you want
· How to use stories to induce strong emotions in your listener while
keeping your listener comfortable with these strong emotions
· How to give your words force and impact
· How to make someone feel comfortable with you
· How to spot someone’s personality type
· How to push and pull using personality typing
· How to project intensity and power
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GUTTALK is a method of moving the listener’s feelings by
ignoring the rational part of his or her mind, and speaking
directly to his or her emotions.
Ordinary speech
aims at the intellect.
The listener’s
intellect interprets
and analyzes this
speech.
After the intellect
has interpreted this
speech, the listener’s
instincts and
emotions respond.
GUTTALK aims for
the gut.
GUTTALK speaks
to the instincts in
their own language.
It is therefore more
powerful and
compelling.
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1. The Basics, or How Powerful Communication Works
Powerful, effective communication a) grabs the listener’s
attention, and b) spurs the listener’s feelings and imagination in
directions the communicator wants.
The first effect, in which your listener becomes drawn into what
you are saying and comes to pay more attention to it, than, for example,
the fact you are both standing on a street corner, or the fact that the
stoplight has changed, or the fact that your listener ought to be rushing to
an appointment--in short, the effect wherein your listener is enjoying
listening to you and is more interested in what you are saying than in
other things--we'll call Engagement.
ENGAGEMENT
STIMULATION
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The second effect, in which as you talk at length about your
weekend in Tahoe, your listener begins visualizing ski slopes, trees, the
dull and filtered winter sun, warm fireplaces, warm beverages, and
bearskin rugs--and not only visualizes, but imagines, subtly, feeling what
it would be like to have these experiences, we’ll call Stimulation.
Engagement is getting your listener absorbed in what you are saying.
Stimulation is getting your listener to imagine experiencing what you
are talking about.
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2. GutTalk: What it is, and why it’s useful
Conventional communication—the way most people go about trying
to get others to change opinions, beliefs, and behavior—assumes that
facts and arguments guide feelings and beliefs, and therefore, that facts
and arguments guide behavior.
Synchronized communication, or, as we call it, GutTalk, assumes
that feelings and beliefs drive behavior, and, for that matter, that feelings
and beliefs determine how facts and arguments will be interpreted.
GutTalk addresses someone’s feelings and instincts, in order to
change that person’s idea of “the facts”.
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3. The Head and the Gut, or The Two Ways We Handle Information
Becoming a great communicator is easy, if you think of the person
you’re communicating to as being made of two separate parts. These two
separate parts, which, for simplicity’s sake, we’ll call the Head and the
Gut, handle information in very different ways.
The Head uses words and logic to analyze and communicate
information. That is, the Head picks information apart, tries to put labels
on it, compares it to existing beliefs, thinks about what factors caused it
and what effects it will have on other things, plans future steps and
makes decisions. Emotionally detached, the Head uses symbol systems
like language and mathematics to store and communicate complex
information.
The Gut responds to information through that information’s
emotional associations. If a particular stimulus or piece of information is
experienced at the same time a strong feeling is
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