Irish Wonders | Page 4

D.R. McAnally
her like kites
whin she set fut out o' the dure, bekase she dressed as fine as a fiddle,
wid a grane silk gown, an' a blue bonnet wid yellow ribbins, an' a
shtring av goold baids the size av plums 'round her neck.
"Musha, thin, it's a quare thing entirely, that min like wan woman
betther than another. Begob, it's my belafe, savin' yer prisence, that
there's not the differ av a cowld pitaty bechune thim all whin it's a
queshtion av marryin' wan o' thim, an' if the whole worruld knewn that
same, its few hurted heads there'd be along o' the wimmin. Well, it was
the divil's own job, axin' yer pardon, but ivery wan o' thim young Kings
tuk into his head to fall in love wid the Princess Bridget, fur that was
her name, an' a good name it is; an' wan afther another, they'd shlip in
whin they'd be passin', to pay their respicts. Whin wan o' thim found
out that another wan was comin', he'd come the aftener himself to make
up fur it, an' afther a while, they all found out aitch other, an' thin,
begob all o' thim come to be beforehand wid the rest, an' from foor
times in the year, it was foor times in the week that the gang o' them 'ud
be settin' in the kitchen till the cock 'ud crow, all a-makin' love to the
young Princess.
[Illustration: "All a-makin' love to the Young Princess"]
"An' a fine sight it was to see thim, bekase they was all shtrivin' to do
somethin' for her. Whin she paled the pitaties fur the ould King's
brekquest, sure wan o' thim 'ud be givin' her the pitaties, another wan
'ud catch the palin' an' the rest lookin' on wid the invy shinin' out o'
their faces. Whin she dropped the thimble, you'd think the last wan 'ud

jump out av his shkin to get it, an' whin she wint to milk the cow, wan
'ud carry the pail, another wan 'ud fetch the shtool, an' two 'ud feed the
cow, an' two other wans 'ud hold the calf, an' aitch wan 'ud bless God
whin she gev him the laste shmile, bekase she was so cowld, d' ye mind,
that divil a wan o' thim all cud say that he'd get her at all.
"So at firsht, ould King Dennis, that bein' his name, was mighty plazed
to see the young chaps all afther his dawther, an' whin he knewn they
was in the kitchen, he'd shmoke his pipe an' have his sup be himself in
the other room so as to lave thim; an' whin he saw thim hangin' over the
wall o' the gârden beyant, or peepin' through the hedge, he'd let on not
to parsave thim; an' whin they folly'd the Princess to church, he was as
proud as a paycock to see thim settin' behind her wid their crowns in a
row undher the sate. But whin they kept an a-comin' ivery night in the
week an' drinkin' his whishkey an' shmokin' his besht
terbakky,--more-betoken, whin they begun' to be oncivil to aitch other,
says he to himself, says he, 'Bedad,' says he, 'there'll be throuble if it
kapes on thish-a-way. Sure I'll shpake to the gurrul.'
"So he called to the Princess, 'Biddy,' says he.
"'What, Father?' says she.
"'Come here to me,' says he.
"'Sure how can I? I'm busy,' says she.
"'Phat's that you're at?' says he.
"'I'm afther shwapin' the kitchen,' says she.
"'Lave aff,' says he. 'Come to me at wanst,' says he.
"The ould King was very starn, bekase he knewn it was only an axcuse
she was afther makin,' an' she was lookin' that he'd be sayin' somethin'
about the young Kings an' was afther dodgin' as long as she cud. So
whin he shpoke so crass, she riz up aff the sate, for it was a fib she was
tellin', an' she didn't shwape the kitchen at all, an' that was done be wan

av the maids, an' gev a sigh, an' wint in the ould King's room.
"An' there was the ould King on his throne, his crown on his head,
shmokin' his goolden dhudeen wid a glass o' grog at his side, as
detarmined as he cud be. 'I'm wantin' to know,' says he, 'phat you're
afther goin' to do,' says he, 'in regârds av the young Kings,' says he.
"'Phat's that you're sayin', Father?' says she, mighty shly, as lettin' on
not to see phat he was drivin' at. The ould King repated his statemint.
"'Troth, then, I dunno, Father,' says she.
"'Do you mane to marry thim, at all, at all?' says he.
"'Not all o' thim,' says she, shmilin'.
"'Well, which wan o' thim?'
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