In the Field (1914-1915) | Page 7

were sitting on

baskets, casks and packages of all kinds, and they were talking eagerly.
Each man was relating, with plenty of gesticulation, the great deeds he
had taken part in or seen. As I passed, I heard scraps of their
conversation: "They were in the first line of houses.... Then, old chap,
our lieutenant rushed forward.... You should have seen them scuttle...."
I was delighted to see that the moral of those fine fellows didn't seem in
the least affected. To hear them you would have thought the Germans
had been driven back at all points.
I got a porter to tell me where the military commissary was. He pointed
out an Artillery lieutenant, in a cap with a white band, talking to a
group of officers. I introduced myself, and asked him if he knew
anything about the state of affairs. Like everybody else, he could only
give me very vague information. "However," he added, "I can confirm
what you have heard about G. The First Corps has just retaken the town,
which was defended by the Prussian Guard. It appears that our fellows
were wonderful, and that the enemy has suffered enormous losses.
However"--the lieutenant's voice trembled slightly, and the shrug of his
shoulders betrayed his despair--"I have orders to evacuate the station,
with all my men and my papers, so soon as the last train has been
unloaded. I am to fall back towards L. How is one to understand what
all this means?"
We looked at each other, without a word. Everybody felt dejected and
doubtful. Not to understand!... To have to obey without understanding
why! It was the first time I had really felt the grandeur of military
service. You must have a soul stoutly tempered to carry out an
order--no matter what, even if that order seems incomprehensible to
you. There must have been in that corner of France, on the edge of that
frontier which we had sworn should never be violated--there must have
been thousands of officers, thousands of soldiers who would have
given their lives rather than yield up one inch of ground. Then why
abandon that station? Why say so bluntly, "To-morrow you will have
no need to go so far north to bring supplies. We shall come nearer to
you; we shall withdraw ..."?
There I was again, allowing my mind to wander and to suffer. I tried to

learn by what means I could get some information about my regiment.
"Well, it's very simple," said the Artillery lieutenant, very kindly.
"Your commissariat officer will certainly have to come with his convoy
to fetch supplies. Try to get hold of him. He will tell you all about it."
I grasped his hand and went off, glad indeed at the thought of seeing
my regiment's uniform once more. And Providence seemed to guide me,
for I thought I saw the very man I was looking for in the little booking
office. But I had some difficulty in recognising him. He looked aged
and worn. His beard had grown quite grey. Bending over the sill of the
ticket office, he was in the act of spreading the contents of a box of
sardines upon a slice of bread. Yes, it was he. How tired and
disheartened he looked! I pushed the door open and rushed in:
"Bonjour! Comment va?"
"Ah!... It's you! What have you come here for, my poor fellow? Ah!
Things aren't looking very rosy...."
I plied him with questions, and he answered in short incoherent
sentences:
"Charleroi? Don't talk of it!... Our men? Grand!... A hecatomb....
Then ... the retreat ... day and night.... The Germans daren't.... Ah! a
nice business, isn't it? We're retreating."
He told me where the regiment was, in a huge farm a long way off. He
said he could take my canteen in one of his vans. As for me, I should
have to manage as best I could next day to join my comrades. It would
take some time to get my horses detrained, as the only platform was
still being used for the vans not yet unloaded. "Thanks," said I. "Well,
it's quite simple. To-morrow I go straight towards the cannon.
Good-night." And I went off to finish my sleepless night, lying beside
my horses. With my eyes fixed on the chink of the door, I waited, hour
after hour, for the daylight....
When dawn broke I had already got Wattrelot and a couple of

railwaymen who were still in the station to bring my horse-box up to
the platform. The three horses were quickly saddled and ready to start.
The freshness of the morning and the joy of feeling firm ground under
their feet again made them uncommonly lively. Indeed, Wattrelot came
near feeling the effects of their good spirits somewhat uncomfortably