In and Around Berlin | Page 4

scrupulously and formally observed in
Germany than with us. There are cakes and lighted candles and flowers
for the one whose birthday makes him for the time the most important
personage in the family, and who sits in holiday dress in the
reception-room, to receive the calls and congratulations of friends.
Those who cannot call send letters and presents, which are displayed,
with those received from the family, on a table devoted to the purpose;
and the array is often quite extensive. The presents are seldom
extravagant, consisting largely of the ornamental handiwork of friends
and of useful articles of clothing for common use.
A genuine German family festival on Christmas eve is a pleasant thing
to see. We accepted with pleasure the invitation of Frau B---- and her
family, to be present at theirs. In a large salon adjoining that where the
table was laid for supper, was another long table spread with a white
cloth. Toward the farther end of the table stood a tall Christmas-tree,
decked with various simple ornaments; and the candles on it were
lighted with a little ceremony, the chubby granddaughter of three years
pointing her bare arm and uplifted forefinger to the tree, and reciting a
short poem appropriate to the occasion, as we entered the room, about
half-past seven o'clock. Then the beautiful and winning child found her
toys, her lovely wax doll and its cradle, and another doll of rubber,

small and homely, on which, after the fashion of little mothers, she
imprinted her most affectionate kisses. Suddenly the room was radiant
with a contagious happiness. "The little Fräulein," daughter of the
hostess, just engaged by cable to a gentleman in America, had found
his picture, wreathed with fresh and fragrant rosebuds, among her
presents; and the smiles and blushes chased each other over her face, as
the engagement was thus announced by her mother to the assembled
guests. She answered her congratulations by more blushes and smiles,
laying her hand on her heart, and saying with true German frankness,
"Oh, I am so happy!" No presents hung on the tree, but those intended
for each person were in a group beside a plate of cakes and bonbons,
with a card bearing the name. Each of the company found his own,
delicately assisted by the hostess and her daughters. Then the servants
were called in, to find their presents on side tables, to receive and
express good wishes and thanks, and to join in the general joy of the
household over the engagement. After supper in the dining-room, we
talked awhile, there was music from the piano, then the married
daughter and her family withdrew with kind "good-nights;" and before
a late hour all the other guests had done the same, not, however, until
the national airs of America and of Scotland had been sung by all
present, in honor of the guests from these countries.
Private hospitality is kind and open, but so far as our observation went,
conducted within certain specified limits seldom overstepped. Order of
precedence is carefully observed, and more honor is shown to age than
with us. The best seat in the drawing-room is the sofa. A single guest
would never be offered any other place, and among a number the eldest
or the most honored would be invariably conducted there. Hence no
one would venture to take this place of honor uninvited. Sometimes one
is secretly glad of not being invited to crowd behind the table which
usually stands, covered with a spread, inconveniently close before the
sofa, and of having instead a chair, with a better support for the back.
One is expected to bow to the hostess and to each guest on coming to
the table, and also on leaving it. Odd as this seems at first, it soon
becomes a habit rather pleasant than burdensome, and one grows
insensibly to admire the outward politeness of this German custom.

Greetings and farewells are more ceremonious, even between intimate
friends, than with us; and to omit a ceremonious leave-taking or to
substitute a light bow and "good day" would not make a pleasant
impression on a German hostess. Americans, especially young ladies,
are much criticised for their independence and lack of courtesy. A
German friend told me that a young American lady who had formerly
been an inmate of her family called to bid her good-by before leaving
Berlin. "I was amazed," she said, "at such politeness." It is not alone in
matters of courtesy that young American ladies shock the Germans.
Though a young lady has more freedom in Germany than in France and
Italy, she is expected to conform carefully to the custom of going out in
the evening or travelling only in company with a relative if a gentleman,
or with an older