Imaginary Conversations and Poems | Page 5

no further
cause for his repining. Go, convey unto him those twelve silver spoons,
with the apostles on them, gloriously gilded; and deliver into his hand
these twelve large golden pieces, sufficing for the yearly maintenance
of another horse and groom. Beside which, set open before him with
due reverence this Bible, wherein he may read the mercies of God
toward those who waited in patience for His blessing; and this pair of
crimson silk hose, which thou knowest I have worn only thirteen
months, taking heed that the heel-piece be put into good and sufficient
restoration, at my sole charges, by the Italian woman nigh the pollard
elm at Charing Cross.
EPICTETUS AND SENECA
_Seneca._ Epictetus, I desired your master, Epaphroditus, to send you
hither, having been much pleased with his report of your conduct, and
much surprised at the ingenuity of your writings.
_Epictetus._ Then I am afraid, my friend----
_Seneca._ _My friend!_ are these the expressions--Well, let it pass.
Philosophers must bear bravely. The people expect it.
_Epictetus._ Are philosophers, then, only philosophers for the people;
and, instead of instructing them, must they play tricks before them?
Give me rather the gravity of dancing dogs. Their motions are for the
rabble; their reverential eyes and pendant paws are under the pressure
of awe at a master; but they are dogs, and not below their destinies.
_Seneca._ Epictetus! I will give you three talents to let me take that
sentiment for my own.
_Epictetus._ I would give thee twenty, if I had them, to make it thine.
_Seneca._ You mean, by lending it the graces of my language?

_Epictetus._ I mean, by lending it to thy conduct. And now let me
console and comfort thee, under the calamity I brought on thee by
calling thee _my friend_. If thou art not my friend, why send for me?
Enemy I can have none: being a slave, Fortune has now done with me.
_Seneca._ Continue, then, your former observations. What were you
saying?
_Epictetus._ That which thou interruptedst.
_Seneca._ What was it?
_Epictetus._ I should have remarked that, if thou foundest ingenuity in
my writings, thou must have discovered in them some deviation from
the plain, homely truths of Zeno and Cleanthes.
_Seneca._ We all swerve a little from them.
_Epictetus._ In practice too?
_Seneca._ Yes, even in practice, I am afraid.
_Epictetus._ Often?
_Seneca._ Too often.
_Epictetus._ Strange! I have been attentive, and yet have remarked but
one difference among you great personages at Rome.
_Seneca._ What difference fell under your observation?
_Epictetus._ Crates and Zeno and Cleanthes taught us that our desires
were to be subdued by philosophy alone. In this city, their acute and
inventive scholars take us aside, and show us that there is not only one
way, but two.
_Seneca._ Two ways?
_Epictetus._ They whisper in our ear, 'These two ways are philosophy

and enjoyment: the wiser man will take the readier, or, not finding it,
the alternative.' Thou reddenest.
_Seneca._ Monstrous degeneracy.
_Epictetus._ What magnificent rings! I did not notice them until thou
liftedst up thy hands to heaven, in detestation of such effeminacy and
impudence.
_Seneca._ The rings are not amiss; my rank rivets them upon my
fingers: I am forced to wear them. Our emperor gave me one,
Epaphroditus another, Tigellinus the third. I cannot lay them aside a
single day, for fear of offending the gods, and those whom they love
the most worthily.
_Epictetus._ Although they make thee stretch out thy fingers, like the
arms and legs of one of us slaves upon a cross.
_Seneca._ Oh, horrible! Find some other resemblance.
_Epictetus._ The extremities of a fig-leaf.
_Seneca._ Ignoble!
_Epictetus._ The claws of a toad, trodden on or stoned.
_Seneca._ You have great need, Epictetus, of an instructor in eloquence
and rhetoric: you want topics, and tropes, and figures.
_Epictetus._ I have no room for them. They make such a buzz in the
house, a man's own wife cannot understand what he says to her.
_Seneca._ Let us reason a little upon style. I would set you right, and
remove from before you the prejudices of a somewhat rustic education.
We may adorn the simplicity of the wisest.
_Epictetus._ Thou canst not adorn simplicity. What is naked or
defective is susceptible of decoration: what is decorated is simplicity no
longer. Thou mayest give another thing in exchange for it; but if thou

wert master of it, thou wouldst preserve it inviolate. It is no wonder that
we mortals, little able as we are to see truth, should be less able to
express it.
_Seneca._ You have formed at present no idea of style.
_Epictetus._ I never think about it. First, I consider whether what I am
about to say is true; then, whether I can say it with brevity, in such a