Imaginary Conversations and Poems | Page 6

God for it. Those rude instruments have left the turf lying yet toward the sun; and those unskilful hands have plucked out the docks.
_Seneca._ We hope and believe that we have attained a vein of eloquence, brighter and more varied than has been hitherto laid open to the world.
_Epictetus._ Than any in the Greek?
_Seneca._ We trust so.
_Epictetus._ Than your Cicero's?
_Seneca._ If the declaration may be made without an offence to modesty. Surely, you cannot estimate or value the eloquence of that noble pleader?
_Epictetus._ Imperfectly, not being born in Italy; and the noble pleader is a much less man with me than the noble philosopher. I regret that, having farms and villas, he would not keep his distance from the pumping up of foul words against thieves, cut-throats, and other rogues; and that he lied, sweated, and thumped his head and thighs, in behalf of those who were no better.
_Seneca._ Senators must have clients, and must protect them.
_Epictetus._ Innocent or guilty?
_Seneca._ Doubtless.
_Epictetus._ If I regret what is and might not be, I may regret more what both is and must be. However, it is an amiable thing, and no small merit in the wealthy, even to trifle and play at their leisure hours with philosophy. It cannot be expected that such a personage should espouse her, or should recommend her as an inseparable mate to his heir.
_Seneca._ I would.
_Epictetus._ Yes, Seneca, but thou hast no son to make the match for; and thy recommendation, I suspect, would be given him before he could consummate the marriage. Every man wishes his sons to be philosophers while they are young; but takes especial care, as they grow older, to teach them its insufficiency and unfitness for their intercourse with mankind. The paternal voice says: 'You must not be particular; you are about to have a profession to live by; follow those who have thriven the best in it.' Now, among these, whatever be the profession, canst thou point out to me one single philosopher?
_Seneca._ Not just now; nor, upon reflection, do I think it feasible.
_Epictetus._ Thou, indeed, mayest live much to thy ease and satisfaction with philosophy, having (they say) two thousand talents.
_Seneca._ And a trifle to spare--pressed upon me by that godlike youth, my pupil Nero.
_Epictetus._ Seneca! where God hath placed a mine, He hath placed the materials of an earthquake.
_Seneca._ A true philosopher is beyond the reach of Fortune.
_Epictetus._ The false one thinks himself so. Fortune cares little about philosophers; but she remembers where she hath set a rich man, and she laughs to see the Destinies at his door.
PETER THE GREAT AND ALEXIS
_Peter._ And so, after flying from thy father's house, thou hast returned again from Vienna. After this affront in the face of Europe, thou darest to appear before me?
_Alexis._ My emperor and father! I am brought before your Majesty, not at my own desire.
_Peter._ I believe it well.
_Alexis._ I would not anger you.
_Peter._ What hope hadst thou, rebel, in thy flight to Vienna?
_Alexis._ The hope of peace and privacy; the hope of security; and, above all things, of never more offending you.
_Peter._ That hope thou hast accomplished. Thou imaginedst, then, that my brother of Austria would maintain thee at his court--speak!
_Alexis._ No, sir! I imagined that he would have afforded me a place of refuge.
_Peter._ Didst thou, then, take money with thee?
_Alexis._ A few gold pieces.
_Peter._ How many?
_Alexis._ About sixty.
_Peter._ He would have given thee promises for half the money; but the double of it does not purchase a house, ignorant wretch!
_Alexis._ I knew as much as that: although my birth did not appear to destine me to purchase a house anywhere; and hitherto your liberality, my father, hath supplied my wants of every kind.
_Peter._ Not of wisdom, not of duty, not of spirit, not of courage, not of ambition. I have educated thee among my guards and horses, among my drums and trumpets, among my flags and masts. When thou wert a child, and couldst hardly walk, I have taken thee into the arsenal, though children should not enter according to regulations: I have there rolled cannon-balls before thee over iron plates; and I have shown thee bright new arms, bayonets and sabres; and I have pricked the back of my hands until the blood came out in many places; and I have made thee lick it; and I have then done the same to thine. Afterward, from thy tenth year, I have mixed gunpowder in thy grog; I have peppered thy peaches; I have poured bilge-water (with a little good wholesome tar in it) upon thy melons; I have brought out girls to mock thee and cocker thee, and talk like mariners, to make thee braver. Nothing would do. Nay, recollect thee! I have myself led thee forth to the window when fellows were hanged and