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BERT
Must 'ave.
[Train is heard.]
BILL
Ah, 'ere she is. Well, as I was saying . . .
Curtain
SCENE 4
In a second-class railway carriage.
Time: Same morning as Scene 1, Act I.
Noise, and a scene drawn past the windows. The scene, showing a
momentary glimpse of fair English hills, is almost entirely placards,
"GIVE HER BOVRIL," "GIVE HER OXO," alternately, for ever.
Occupants, JOHN BEAL, a girl, a man.
All sit in stoical silence like the two images near Luxor. The man has
the window seat, and therefore the right of control over the window.
MIRALDA CLEMENT
Would you mind having the window open?
THE MAN IN THE CORNER [shrugging his shoulders in a shivery
way]
Er--certainly. [Meaning he does not mind. He opens the window.]
MIRALDA CLEMENT
Thank you so much.
MAN IN THE CORNER
Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict her. Stoical silence again.]
MIRALDA CLEMENT
Would you mind having it shut now? I think it is rather cold.
MAN IN THE CORNER

Certainly.
[He shuts it. Silence again.]
MIRALDA CLEMENT
I think I'd like the window open again now for a bit. It is rather stuffy,
isn't it?
MAN IN THE CORNER
Well, I think it's very cold.
MIRALDA CLEMENT
O, do you? But would you mind opening it for me?
MAN IN THE CORNER
I'd much rather it was shut, if you don't mind.
[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and her pretty face expresses the
resignation of the Christian martyr in the presence of lions. This for the
benefit of John.]
JOHN
Allow me, madam.
[He leans across the window's rightful owner, a bigger man than he,
and opens his window.
MAN IN THE CORNER shrugs his shoulders and, quite sensibly, turns
to his paper.]
MIRALDA
O, thank you so much.
JOHN
Don't mention it.
[Silence again.]
VOICES OF PORTERS [Off]
Fan Kar, Fan Kar.
[MAN IN THE CORNER gets out.]
MIRALDA
Could you tell me where this is?
JOHN
Yes. Elephant and Castle.
MIRALDA
Thank you so much. It was kind of you to protect me from that horrid
man. He wanted to suffocate me.
JOHN
O, very glad to assist you, I'm sure. Very glad.

MIRALDA
I should have been afraid to have done it in spite of him. It was
splendid of you.
JOHN O, that was nothing. MIRALDA
O, it was, really.
JOHN
Only too glad to help you in any little way.
MIRALDA
It was so kind of you.
JOHN
O, not at all.
[Silence for a bit.]
MIRALDA
I've nobody to help me.
JOHN
Er, er, haven't you really?
MIRALDA
No, nobody. JOHN
I'd be very glad to help you in any little way.
MIRALDA
I wonder if you could advise me.
JOHN I--I'd do my best.
MIRALDA
You see, I have nobody to advise me.
JOHN
No, of course not.
MIRALDA
I live with my aunt, and she doesn't understand. I've no father or
mother.
JOHN
O, er, er, really?
MIRALDA
No. And an uncle died and he left me a hundred thousand pounds.
JOHN
Really?
MIRALDA
Yes. He didn't like me. I think he did it out of contrariness as much as

anything. He was always like that to me.
JOHN
Was he? Was he really?
MIRALDA
Yes. It was invested at twenty-five per cent. He never liked me.
Thought I was too--I don't know what. JOHN No.
MIRALDA
That was five years ago, and I've never got a penny of it. JOHN
Really. But, but that's not right.
MIRALDA [sadly]
No.
JOHN
Where's it invested?
MIRALDA In Al Shaldomir.
JOHN
Where's that?
MIRALDA
I don't quite know. I never was good at geography. I never quite knew
where Persia ends.
JOHN
And what kind of an investment was it?
MIRALDA
There's a pass in some mountains that they can get camels over, and a
huge toll is levied on everything that goes by; that is the custom of the
tribe that lives there, and I believe the toll is regularly collected.
JOHN
And who gets it?
MIRALDA
The chief of the tribe. He is called Ben Hussein. But my uncle lent him
all this money, and the toll on the camels was what they call the
security. They always carry gold and turquoise, you know.
JOHN Do they?
MIRALDA
Yes, they get it from the rivers.
JOHN
I see.
MIRALDA

It does seem a shame his not paying, doesn't it?
JOHN
A shame? I should think it is. An awful shame. Why, it's a crying
shame. He ought to go to prison.
MIRALDA
Yes, he ought. But you see it's so hard to find him. It isn't as if it was
this side of Persia. It's being on the other side that is such a pity. If only
it was in a country