If Only etc. | Page 9

if I happened to feel lonely, take a look at my marriage
certificate to cheer myself up! well--" she drew a long breath and
suddenly left her seat and came quite close to him. "Well," she said
again, "I am not satisfied--do you hear? It may be the height of
ingratitude, but it is a fact all the same. I am not content and I have
made up my mind (you may as well know it now as at any other time)
to go back to the stage. The life suits me and I am going to do it." And
then she paused.
If she expected her husband to storm and rave, insist and expostulate,
she was disappointed. He sat dumb and voiceless, his face buried in his
hands, and he did not even look up when, with the air of a victor, Bella
marched across the floor, beckoned to her sister, and went up to her
own room.
"I never gave you credit for such real grit," began Saidie, admiringly;
but to her surprise Bella flung herself on the bed and burst into
uncontrollable sobs.
"I wish I was dead," she cried. "I am a beast--an ungrateful beast; and I
have said what is not true. I have loved him always--always."
"Well, you can't go back from your word now," said Saidie; "You said
you would do it."
"Yes, and I will." Bella sat up and dried her eyes. "I will go back to the
stage; but I did not say I would stop there, and I shan't if I'm not happy,
and if it makes a break between me and Jack."

"Don't talk like that," cried Saidie disdainfully, "You make me tired!"
CHAPTER III.
After this there was a lull; John Chetwynd observed that he had need of
more forbearance towards his wilful wife, and tried to exercise it. He
told himself that there was love enough and to spare; that with the deep
affection he was convinced Bella bore him there was nothing really to
fear. She was young and ill-advised, and it behoved him to keep a
careful watch over her, and above all things not to draw too tight a rein.
As for her threat of returning to her old life and its meretricious
attractions, after the first shock he dismissed it from his mind. She had
not really intended doing anything of the sort; such a step was
impossible. It was a wild idea, born of the excitement of the moment,
and unworthy of a further thought, and so he put it aside. Had not the
question been argued and threshed out once and for all soon after
marriage? He recalled with a curious lump in his throat how she had
put her hands into his and said; "Your wishes are my wishes, now and
always, Jack." And there had been an end of the matter.
"I will wait until the atmosphere has cleared a little," said John
Chetwynd, reflectively, "and then I'll tell her that at the end of the year
we will leave Camberwell and take a larger house in a better
neighbourhood."
Thus, out of his love for his young wife, he made excuses for her and
took her back to his heart again.
And Bella? Jack's conduct puzzled her. She had fully expected that he
would be exceedingly angry and displeased, and in her own mind had
prepared certain little set phrases which were to impress him with the
fact that she intended to do as she pleased and would not allow herself
to be dictated to or coerced. And thus it was that on the following
morning she came down to breakfast with it must be confessed a
forbidding look upon her pretty face and a defiant air about her bearing.
But all her newly formed resolves were put to flight when Jack came
towards her and deliberately kissed the lips which she vainly tried to

withhold.
"Bella, you and I love each other too well to quarrel," he said kindly;
"let us forget all that happened last night."
What could she say? In spite of herself she felt that she was yielding;
and though she did not meet him half way as he had fondly anticipated
she would do, still she allowed him to draw her into his arms and did
not repulse his caresses.
She might have shown a more generous spirit, it is true. Since he had
tacitly acknowledged that they had been mutually to blame, she might
have offered something in the shape of an expression of regret; but
peace in any shape and at any cost Chetwynd felt he must have.
But Bella had by no means surrendered her determination of going on
the stage again, and was already with Saidie's assistance on the
look-out for