How to Become a porn director | Page 5

dances
and tip good. You are cool, calm and collected. After
two or three lap dances, you hand them your
business card with a little extra greenback attached
and tell them to call if they are interested. Then you
leave.
Make sure you have a phone number with an
answering machine. Record a professional sounding
message that states the name of your business and
remember to call people back promptly. Your home
phone is probably not the one to use. Buck up for a
cell phone with voice mail. Some things are not
worth going cheap on.
At one time renting out P.O. box from the
post office or a private vendor was a good idea to get
mail but keep your home address private. You could
even get a private box that had a street name and
suite number instead of having to address it as a post
office box. This is no longer true. The U.S. Post
Office saw declining revenue from private mailbox
vendors and changed the rules. Now all P.O. boxes

How to Become a Porn Director: Making Amateur Adult Films
27 have to be labeled as P.O. boxes and cannot use
street names.
For this reason it is better to get an
anonymous e-mail address and is probably cheaper
too. Most people have access to computers these
days and can send you letters or inquires. Some e-
mail accounts will also allow people to fax you and
turns it into a readable digital file.
For that matter you might also consider a web
site. It is also a cheap form of advertising, readily
accessible to a wide audience and able to sell you
finished products. A good-looking, fast loading web
site has all kinds of possibilities.
Even though you are an amateur director
trying to do amateur adult films, what you want to
project is a professional with their shit together who
enjoys creating quality entertainment. Act like a
professional and people will treat you like a
professional. You might even fool your mother.
There are stories of infamous “party crashers”
who have gotten into the most bizarre situations just
by acting the part. One guy was able to pass himself
off as a British physician on a Royal Navy ship even
though he was an American with no formal medical
training. He knew how talk the talk and walk the
walk. To be taken serious you have to expect it and
accept nothing else.

How to Become a Porn Director: Making Amateur Adult Films
28 Think of yourself as a professional business
owner and make sure that everything you do backs it
up. You don’t have to spend a million bucks to look
like it. Even though you may be a business of one,
create the illusion that you are a full production
studio just waiting to make you and everyone else
money and stardom.

How to Become a Porn Director: Making Amateur Adult Films
29

How to Become a Porn Director: Making Amateur Adult Films
30
Act Three:
Legal Crap That May Help
You Stay Out of Jail
(Don’t Bet On It)
As has been mentioned (over and over again)
polite society will frown on your endeavors and try
to put you out of business in anyway they can. The
easiest form of intimidation is to threaten you with
jail time. Read on for a tirade about U.S. laws.
In today’s society laws have become so
numerous that the average citizen doesn’t even know
he’s breaking quite a few of them every day. Laws
are written by the feds, states, counties and cities.
You have regulatory agencies whose policies
amount to laws too. I don’t believe this is by
accident. It’s not quite a conspiracy (not one that I
can prove) but consider the following.
If you make enough laws no one will escape
breaking a few every day that they don’t even know
about. If everyone is breaking some law or another
then it becomes a selective method of whom you go
after and try and prosecute. Law enforcement is
usually guided by political hacks that have scammed
their way into public office on the banner of

How to Become a Porn Director: Making Amateur Adult Films
31 protecting the people from this or that. In any given
year what they try to protect us from is dependent on
what will get the most press coverage.
If conservatives are in power then
pornographers are viewed as a moral threat to a god-
fearing community. If liberals are in power then it is
important to protect us from sexual exploitation of
the human body.
Different political party, same results.
Doesn’t matter that the people have spoken with
their wallets and made porn a billion dollar industry.
What matters is publicity at someone else’s expense.
Namely yours.
The following are some suggestions that
might help you stay out of jail. This is not legal
advice you should follow; legal advice is something
you should only obtain from a qualified lawyer. This
book is not a substitute, don’t chance going to jail by
not seeking legal advice.
You must never, ever, ever film a minor in
any sexual situation. Consider anyone under 21
suspect. Pass on anyone younger than 19 years old.
You will need three forms of identification: driver’s
license, birth certificate and social security card.
Carefully check the picture and make sure that all
three forms contain the same identification.

How to Become a Porn