How He Lied to Her Husband | Page 7

to an unmarried woman!
how I wish they had!
SHE. Indeed you have no right to wish anything of the sort. They are
quite unfit for anybody but a married woman. That's just the difficulty.
What will my sisters-in-law think of them?
HE [painfully jarred] Have you got sisters-in-law?

SHE. Yes, of course I have. Do you suppose I am an angel?
HE [biting his lips] I do. Heaven help me, I do--or I did--or [he almost
chokes a sob].
SHE [softening and putting her hand caressingly on his shoulder]
Listen to me, dear. It's very nice of you to live with me in a dream, and
to love me, and so on; but I can't help my husband having disagreeable
relatives, can I?
HE [brightening up] Ah, of course they are your husband's relatives: I
forgot that. Forgive me, Aurora. [He takes her hand from his shoulder
and kisses it. She sits down on the stool. He remains near the table,
with his back to it, smiling fatuously down at her].
SHE. The fact is, Teddy's got nothing but relatives. He has eight sisters
and six half-sisters, and ever so many brothers--but I don't mind his
brothers. Now if you only knew the least little thing about the world,
Henry, you'd know that in a large family, though the sisters quarrel
with one another like mad all the time, yet let one of the brothers marry,
and they all turn on their unfortunate sister-in-law and devote the rest
of their lives with perfect unanimity to persuading him that his wife is
unworthy of him. They can do it to her very face without her knowing
it, because there are always a lot of stupid low family jokes that nobody
understands but themselves. Half the time you can't tell what they're
talking about: it just drives you wild. There ought to be a law against a
man's sister ever entering his house after he's married. I'm as certain as
that I'm sitting here that Georgina stole those poems out of my
workbox.
HE. She will not understand them, I think.
SHE. Oh, won't she! She'll understand them only too well. She'll
understand more harm than ever was in them: nasty vulgar-minded cat!
HE [going to her] Oh don't, don't think of people in that way. Don't
think of her at all. [He takes her hand and sits down on the carpet at her
feet]. Aurora: do you remember the evening when I sat here at your feet
and read you those poems for the first time?
SHE. I shouldn't have let you: I see that now. When I think of Georgina
sitting there at Teddy's feet and reading them to him for the first time, I
feel I shall just go distracted.
HE. Yes, you are right. It will be a profanation.
SHE. Oh, I don't care about the profanation; but what will Teddy think?

what will he do? [Suddenly throwing his head away from her knee].
You don't seem to think a bit about Teddy. [She jumps up, more and
more agitated].
HE [supine on the floor; for she has thrown him off his balance] To me
Teddy is nothing, and Georgina less than nothing.
SHE. You'll soon find out how much less than nothing she is. If you
think a woman can't do any harm because she's only a
scandalmongering dowdy ragbag, you're greatly mistaken. [She
flounces about the room. He gets up slowly and dusts his hands.
Suddenly she runs to him and throws herself into his arms]. Henry:
help me. Find a way out of this for me; and I'll bless you as long as you
live. Oh, how wretched I am! [She sobs on his breast].
HE. And oh! how happy I am!
SHE [whisking herself abruptly away] Don't be selfish.
HE [humbly] Yes: I deserve that. I think if I were going to the stake
with you, I should still be so happy with you that I could hardly feel
your danger more than my own.
SHE [relenting and patting his hand fondly] Oh, you are a dear darling
boy, Henry; but [throwing his hand away fretfully] you're no use. I
want somebody to tell me what to do.
HE [with quiet conviction] Your heart will tell you at the right time. I
have thought deeply over this; and I know what we two must do,
sooner or later.
SHE. No, Henry. I will do nothing improper, nothing dishonorable.
[She sits down plump on the stool and looks inflexible].
HE. If you did, you would no longer be Aurora. Our course is perfectly
simple, perfectly straightforward, perfectly stainless and true. We love
one another. I am not ashamed of that: I am ready to go out and
proclaim it to all London as simply as I