Horseshoes | Page 2

luck they'd of
heard about me long before yesterday. They say my homer was lucky.
Maybe it was; but, believe me, it was time things broke for me. They
been breakin' for him all his life."
"Well," I said, "his luck must have gone back on him if he's in a
hospital with nervous prostration."
"Nervous prostration nothin'," said Grimes. "He's in a hospital because
his face is all out o' shape and he's ashamed to appear on the street. I
don't usually do so much talkin' and I'm ravin' a little to-night because
I've had a couple o' drinks; but----"
"Have another," said I, ringing for the waiter, "and talk some more."
"I made two hits yesterday," Grimes went on, "but the crowd only seen
one. I busted up the game and the serious with the one they seen. The
one they didn't see was the one I busted up a guy's map with--and

Speed Parker was the guy. That's why he's in a hospital. He may be
able to play ball next year; but I'll bet my share o' the dough that
McGraw won't reco'nize him when he shows up at Marlin in the
spring."
"When did this come off?" I asked. "And why?"
"It come off outside the clubhouse after yesterday's battle," he said; "
and I hit him because he called me a name--a name I won't stand for
from him."
"What did he call you?" I queried, expecting to hear one of the delicate
epithets usually applied by conquered to conqueror on the diamond.
"'Horseshoes!'" was Grimes' amazing reply.
"But, good Lord!" I remonstrated, "I've heard of ball players calling
each other that, and Lucky Stiff, and Fourleaf Clover, ever since I was
a foot high, and I never knew them to start fights about it."
"Well," said Grimes, "I might as well give you all the dope; and then if
you don't think I was justified I'll pay your fare from here to wherever
you're goin'. I don't want you to think I'm kickin' about trifles--or that
I'm kickin' at all, for that matter. I just want to prove to you that he
didn't have no license to pull that Horseshoes stuff on me and that I
only give him what was comin' to him."
"Go ahead and shoot," said I.
"Give us some more o' the same," said Grimes to the passing waiter.
And then he told me about it.

Maybe you've heard that me and Speed Parker was raised in the same
town--Ishpeming, Michigan. We was kids together, and though he done
all the devilment I got all the lickin's. When we was about twelve years
old Speed throwed a rotten egg at the teacher and I got expelled. That
made me sick o' schools and I wouldn't never go to one again, though

my ol' man beat me up and the truant officers threatened to have me
hung.
Well, while Speed was learnin' what was the principal products o' New
Hampshire and Texas I was workin' round the freight-house and drivin'
a dray.
We'd both been playin' ball all our lives; and when the town organized
a semi-pro club we got jobs with it. We was to draw two bucks apiece
for each game and they played every Sunday. We played four games
before we got our first pay. They was a hole in my pants pocket as big
as the home plate, but I forgot about it and put the dough in there. It
wasn't there when I got home. Speed didn't have no hole in his
pocket--you can bet on that! Afterward the club hired a good outfielder
and I was canned. They was huntin' for another third baseman too; but,
o' course, they didn't find none and Speed held his job.
The next year they started the Northern Peninsula League. We landed
with the home team. The league opened in May and blowed up the
third week in June. They paid off all the outsiders first and then had
just money enough left to settle with one of us two Ishpeming guys.
The night they done the payin' I was out to my uncle's farm, so they
settled with Speed and told me I'd have to wait for mine. I'm still
waitin'!
Gene Higgins, who was manager o' the Battle Creek Club, lived in
Houghton, and that winter we goes over and strikes him for a job. He
give it to us and we busted in together two years ago last spring.
I had a good year down there. I hit over .300 and stole all the bases in
sight. Speed got along good too, and they was several big-league scouts
lookin' us over. The Chicago Cubs bought Speed outright and four
clubs put in a draft for me.